[00:00:00] Welcome back to Not Another Mindset Show. I am hopefully going to bring you a quick and powerful episode this week, and to be honest, a lot of times I try to make these episodes shorter than they end up being because I just always have more to say. Gosh. But I do want to keep this one shorter and keep it just, like, impactful so you can be on your way on your week.

That said, though, I actually, at this point, what is this? Episode 17? I would love to hear feedback from you on the episode length. My goal was to make these relatively short, partially because I don’t feel I don’t freaking want to sit here for an hour talking at a camera by myself. Like I’ve done enough of that with like recording modules for courses and stuff like that.

Even though half the time I am just kind of sitting here bullshitting with you like I am right now. But my goal was 20 to 30 minute episodes and [00:01:00] they are often closer to 40. And I feel it, you know, while I’m sitting here, it starts to feel like, okay, Casey, we should probably wrap this up. Like the people don’t need to just keep hearing from you talking about this same topic.

So that said, you may have a totally different opinion than I do. And maybe you like listening to me more than I like listening to myself, which would be amazing. So please let me know. Um, I’m like, for me personally, with podcast, cause I’m an, I’m a podcast Active podcast listener myself. And I really, I don’t love super, super long ones just because I then have to leave it and come back to it later.

But at the same time, I’m not sure I really love the 15 to 20 minute episodes that much either, like somewhere in between, which is honestly why I’m shooting for that length myself is like in between there, but at the same time, I’m just like how some of these people that are doing solo episodes for two hours, like I think like, Humor men, right?

What the [00:02:00] actual hell or how to sit there for that long. Like he must enjoy listening to himself and that’s not saying that’s a bad thing. Like I, I’m just not sure I could do it. But with that said, for this short episode, see now I don’t even make it short. Cause I spend all this extra time at the beginning for no reason.

So for this super short, impactful episode that I would like to get into is, this was. This is actually a topic, um, that came up for me and I, I tend to like, jot down ideas for podcast episodes as I’m speaking to like, my mentorship clients, my students, my, my staff, like my team members, friends, et cetera.

Like you guys have heard me talk about the single girls group chat before, like even getting ideas from that. And this came from one of the gals that I work with in a mentorship capacity and the growth collective. So the growth collective is an offer. That I have in my business that I honestly don’t talk about a lot.

Every time I bring it up, people are [00:03:00] like, Oh, I didn’t know you had a mastermind. And I’m like, well, it’s not really a mastermind. It really, it’s like a mini mastermind continuing education, mentorship type of container. Say that 10 times fast. Um, but I have around five to eight women in the group throughout the year.

And they run on like six to 12 month cycles and we’re doing one on one work. With their mindset, obviously, but in their business mainly. So it’s, if I had a business coaching offer, that’s what this would be. But I don’t really love calling myself a business coach. I really, I really see myself as a mentor.

I’ve done a lot. in the space. Workshops, certifications, built a one on one health and fitness coaching team. I’ve done a lot of different forms of lead magnets and free things. I’m obviously podcasting now, apparently. Um, I’ve spoken on stage many, many times. [00:04:00] Um, I just, I have a lot of Experience in a lot of different areas in a very short period of time.

And I’ve very quickly learned things that worked and don’t work, especially when it comes to health and fitness coaching type of offers. So I use that knowledge, understanding and experience with my mentorship clients. So we work through business stuff. We work through client stuff, um, with ultimately the goal.

of growing their business, but feeling really good and feeling really aligned when they do it. So anyway, this was not meant to be a pitch, but more or less, can you tell that I’m very passionate about working with these women inside the Growth Collective? And we were talking about how challenging things have felt for her lately.

And there’s just so many, what feels like lots of like plates spinning in the air. She has a lot of different things to focus on. She’s like revamping parts of her website, like taking back some of the copywriting that she had given outsourced before, but she feel like wasn’t doing as well. Working on [00:05:00] adjusting, like trying to remember all the things because there really were so many, um, adjusting some stuff to her, her newsletter, as far as like email marketing funnels go.

She’s wanting to hire another coach, but at the same time is noticing maybe a little bit of like a downtrend in applications. So many things and so when she checked in with me She was sharing all this and saying like I’m so excited to be here and like inside the growth collective Getting mentorship, but I’m feeling a little bit I think the word she used was heartbroken Because she’d been getting feedback from some of the other girls in the group and it’s not You That she can’t take feedback, or it’s not that other girls were being mean or anything.

She just felt like, wow, I, I put all of this out there and then I got a lot of input back, which is great. But now I’m like, man, am I, am I going the right direction? Am I making the right moves? Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And Um, we had to have a conversation around this, obviously about like getting that feedback and understanding that when you go out there and you ask for feedback from people, they’re going to tell you, you know, and [00:06:00] it’s the feedback that she was getting now was, was not like, Oh, this is so bad.

Like this needs to be redone. But like, you’re going to a lot of other coaches who are in the exact same space as you and asking them to review like your website copy. They’re going to come back and say like, Oh. Think about it this way, or maybe think about it this other way, or what would it look like if you were to do it this way?

And that can feel really overwhelming when you’re getting that from multiple people. So, we had to have a little bit of a conversation around what she was expecting when she goes out to seek feedback, right? And the conversation that we had around that was like, yeah, you’re, you’re totally right. It was just a lot of input.

Even though I was asking for it, it felt a little bit weird. Heartbreaking, again, her words, because she had already put so much like time and effort into it, she’s also hired other people to help like, write copy, um, and especially because some of it was seemingly like, go back to the way it was before, instead of utilizing these changes you had already made.

[00:07:00] And, um, That felt challenging to her for obvious reasons. But at the same time too, it was like reminding her that in those situations, when you seek feedback or you receive feedback that this is where your growth mindset really gets to shine. Someone with a fixed mindset would immediately say like, not saying, um, the gal in my mentorship has a fixed mindset and that’s her issue, but would immediately say like, this is overwhelming.

This isn’t helpful. This is too much. Or double down on like, I don’t really love that feedback. So I’m just going to stick with what I currently have. And I actually think that like, what I know is best, you know, so it’s almost like trying to just like somehow say, I’m going to spin it into evidence that what you already have done and what you can do on your own is better.

That’s a very fixed mindset way of saying, of thinking about this. Not saying that’s what she was doing, but that is the direction that a lot of people will go. And instead, I’m a more growth mindset way of perceiving this would [00:08:00] say, Okay, deep breath. This feels like a lot, but this is all really, really good.

These are people that I trust, that I know understand my niche and understand what I’m doing from a health and fitness coaching perspective, and this feedback is invaluable. Now, I still know my clients and what I’m doing in the space better than they do. So with that in mind, what can I take? How can I review all of this and then bring it back in reflecting on my own values?

and my understanding in the space and create a beautiful outcome from all of that, right? And that’s where we were kind of like working her towards and she very quickly got there with it, but it can feel like a lot right away. When you’re seeking feedback and something else we talked about a lot too, because as I mentioned, she has lots of plates spinning, you know, that was just what I just talked about was one thing, one thing, right?

She has a ton of [00:09:00] other things going on too, things that she’s wanting to make upgrades to. And I, I love this kind of energy because we literally just started like a month and a half ago, her and I together in this mentorship capacity, and she’s just diving head to head. Um, and then it bursts headfirst into everything, which is amazing, but then it can feel a little bit like, Whoa, there’s so many things I don’t know what to focus on.

Whatever. Like a lot of times thinking about like health and fitness coaching clients or clients can often feel this way. Like they dive in headfirst and then they’re overwhelmed and they don’t know what’s like more important to focus on when the reality is like all the stuff’s important. We just need to like prioritize one thing at a time and really see what makes the most sense to focus on right now and put your energy in right now.

This is funny because I did a, not funny, relevant. Because I did an episode on psychological flexibility two episodes ago, I think that was episode 15. And that comes into play here a lot, because inflexible ways of thinking would be, like, I don’t know what to focus on, it’s not possible for me to figure this out.

And a flexible [00:10:00] way of thinking, having that psychological flexibility would say, Okay, how can I take a look at the bigger picture here and decide what to do? That requires my energy first. And what could that look like? What are all of the options available to me? Hence, flexibility. And a conversation that we had in general with just like her overwhelm was that feeling challenged, feeling like you have so much on your plate that you, there’s so many things you want to optimize and do better and how you want to grow and just being, you know, ultimately overwhelmed by all of that, is a really, really good sign.

It’s a really good sign that you are on the brink of leveling up. And honestly, if you take away anything from this episode, let it be that. When things are feeling extra hard, When you’re really coming up against some of these challenges, you’re feeling overwhelmed with all of these different directions you can go in your business, in your life.[00:11:00] 

Maybe you’re just ultimately like not 100 percent sure what to do. That’s actually really a good thing. You are in a place right now. What is the whole like phrase with diamonds are built under pressure, right? Like that’s, that’s kind of what we’re looking at here. That pressure that you’re feeling is what is going to turn into inevitable.

Leveling up. Inevitable success. Your success is inevitable, my friends. And it’s in those times where it feels extra challenging and that there’s so many directions and things for you to do that you just need to come back to this place of understanding that that means you’re on the brink of something really, really good.

And you know what that might be? You’re on the brink of something not working too. And that’s something that’s really important to keep in mind. Like I’m not just going to sit here and like shoot sunshine and rainbows at you. You may be going through this challenging time. And that just [00:12:00] means you’re on the brink of figuring out something that didn’t work for you, a direction that you don’t actually want to go.

Something that ended up not feeling like it really aligns or works for you, or just kind of led to a, like lack of success in a certain area. Yeah. And that’s great. That is great. Because now you know not to do that thing again. And now you know that like that direction wasn’t the direction for you. And before you were worried if it was or it wasn’t, and now you know for sure it’s not.

You got an answer that’s amazing. And now, it can become, what can we take from that situation? How can we go a better direction? And now, guess what? You are so much more likely to be successful because you’ve already gotten rid of some of these other options that we know aren’t going to work. It’s beautiful.

It’s a beautiful place to be in. And in those situations too, it can feel like everything’s falling apart. Nothing’s working. You’re trying all this stuff. You’re putting so much effort in and it’s still not getting you to where you [00:13:00] want to be. Feels like failure feels not good. But what if, what if, humor me for a second.

What if when everything is falling apart, that actually means it’s all coming together. And I know that is so fucking cliche. And even as I was coming out of my mouth, I was like, really Casey, we’re going to go there. But we did because it’s. True. It’s true. And I cannot tell you the number of instances in my short 31 years of time on this planet where that has rang so true.

That it feels like you’ve put so much time and effort into something and it didn’t work out and it feels like, where am I supposed to go from here? And soon after that, you figure out exactly why that was the case. And that actually that needed to happen in order for What’s coming together to come [00:14:00] together.

And I’ve seen this both in business related things where I’ve tried certain offers or tried to partner up with different people and it ended up not working out or going the direction I wanted to, to, but in doing so that opened up time and space and energy for other things. And those other things ended up being the thing that actually like brought me to that next level.

Um, I’ve seen it in relationships. Oh my God. God, have I stated it in relationships. Oh. So much what felt like like sunk cost fallacy. I’ve spent so much time and effort with this person We’ve gone through so much together. It’s been so long. We built a house together. We have a dog together Blah blah blah how this is not this is not the way it was supposed to be.

This was supposed to be my person It’s all falling apart, right and [00:15:00] how that Now, looking back, I can say, wow, that like really put me in a position to, I, I moved to a new city. I’m, I’m near people that I’m really, really close with. And I’ve been able to develop more of those relationships and friendships in my life.

I’ve had some of like the best business success since then. There’s just like a lot of other things that sort of. fall into place after those things seemingly fall apart. And what’s really cool about this is once you really start to believe this, because you’re listening to me right now going, Yeah, yeah, yeah, Kasey, I get it.

I’ve heard this before in, I’m sure, like, a variety of different ways. But once you really get it, once you really get it, and I’m really getting to a place of really getting it after proving it to myself so many times, you’ll see. you can get excited about when things fall apart. And that sounds extreme, but it’s the truth.

And to be honest, that relationship that I was just talking about, I was already, this was January [00:16:00] 2023. Um, I moved to Austin from North Carolina where I was living previously in that relationship. And honestly, like as much as it was like, holy shit, this is happening. And It feels like this is falling apart and there’s like so much to this and it’s very unexpectedly getting like the rug ripped out from underneath me it felt like.

I was so excited. There was a huge, as much as there was a very huge part of me that felt loss and grieving and sadness and frustration and anger and confusion and all of those things. There was just as large of a part of me that was so excited for what’s to come. Because I knew. If this is crumbling, what is it going to reveal for me?

What is on the other side of all of this? And that level also of uncertainty of like, I thought I knew the direction of where my life was going and now I have no [00:17:00] idea. That was exciting to me too. And looking back now, it’s fun because I recognize psychological flexibility, again, referencing episode 15, that in those times of uncertainty and not knowing and not being able to predict what’s going to happen, my psychological flexibility turned on and was excited for that and was leaning into that and leaning into the challenge.

And this is so much like a growth mindset way of seeing things. I am so proud of how I moved through that season. And. It would, it just saves you so much negative time and energy in that space of worrying what’s to come, wishing it didn’t happen, thinking back of like what could have been done differently so it didn’t end up in this place or like, what is this going to mean for me and like all of that stuff, like, because I didn’t do a whole lot of that during that time.

I got to enter into this new beautiful era, [00:18:00] feeling really good and feeling really excited. And it would be disappointing to look back and be like, God, why did I spend so much time agonizing over that situation when look how good things turned out. And so now I know I’m immediately not going to spend time agonizing in that situation because I know things are going to turn out well.

And this is where, you know, lines can get kind of blurry with like the manifestation law of attraction type of space. And also having a growth mindset, being psychologically flexible, and sort of these more like scientific concepts. Because there is a little bit of like, just the, the energy that you put out there and how you are perceiving things, which ultimately is both those scientific concepts and the woo woo concepts coming together.

So, um, Okay. I honestly didn’t anticipate going in that direction, but I think a big part of this too, is also just thinking about who is the person that you really want to be. And I have this conversation with clients, with students, with mentorship clients, with friends all of [00:19:00] the time. And it’s always, we’re seeking to like level ourselves up in some way and be the best version of ourselves.

And when we say, you know, we’ll, Who is that person? What are they doing? How, what decisions are they making in this situation? What does that look like for them? And a big part of that usually is That those people, that, like, that identity, the people, the person that you want to be, right, is someone who perseveres, that keeps trying no matter what, like, even in the face of setbacks, knows how to continue forward, which, number one, is a growth mindset, but number two, that means that that person that you want to be, that identity that you want to have, is someone who is going through hardship.

They’re facing setbacks, they’re facing obstacles. Things are not always easy for them, [00:20:00] for that identity that you are looking to have, that person that you’re trying to be. So in order to adopt that identity, to be that person, you have to go through some hard shit. So to sit here and say, I want to be this type of person, means that you also have to be in this place of recognizing that things are going to get hard, and you’re going to face challenges, and things are going to feel overwhelming.

And when you’re sitting in that space of hardship, challenge, setbacks, Please know that you are doing the thing that you want to do. You are becoming that person. You are exemplifying that exact identity that you are wanting to become. By being in that hardship and seeing it from a different lens, seeing this as a welcome challenge, seeing it as, there is something on the other side of this that is going to do me so much good.

But you [00:21:00] can’t, Be in that place without the hardship in the first place. Do you see what I’m saying? Like we’re, we’re wanting to be this type of person that takes no shit and climbs to the top and perseveres and all of these tough situations, but you’re not going to be able to do that without the tough situations in the first place.

So if you’re in the tough situations right now, you’re in the challenges. If things are feeling extra hard, just know that you are actually already being that type of person. So long as you are taking that. situation and turning it into what you want to turn it into. And remember, you do have the power to do that.

You do have the power to see things differently. So it’s really not about getting rid of the hardship, getting rid of the tough stuff, making things easier. Like, obviously we want to eventually get there and you will, and things do get to be easier. You get to be successful and things get to be easier at the same time, by the way.

[00:22:00] But. If you are wanting to be the person who takes challenges by the horns and tackles them and learns from them and grows from there, then you need to be willing to have the challenge in the first place. And instead of trying to get rid of the hardship, it’s about changing your lens. for how you see the hardship.

Whew, okay, that went, um, a couple different directions that I didn’t anticipate, so I hope that was helpful to listen to. I feel like that was my most, like, motivation heavy episode, but just know that this is based on these concepts of psychological flexibility and growth mindset, and what we, we actually know from the research that, uh, People who identify as these certain things are more successful, and also, just like what I have seen be really helpful and work really well in conversation with my mentorship [00:23:00] students, um, clients, etc.

So, yeah. Man, I feel like I, like, also Some waves of emotion! Over here, for sure. Need to take some deep breaths. Re center ourselves. Maybe you need to do that too. Anyway, I really do appreciate you listening, you being here, for all my different types of episodes at all the different lengths. And I will see you next time, my [00:24:00] friends.