Okay, we are back, and this time talking red flags and green flags from a mindset perspective. And this episode, I really want you to think in more broad terms, because as much as a lot of what we talk about in this podcast, because that’s also my area of expertise with health behavior change, so looking at Nutrition and fitness behaviors and how your mindset plays a role in those things truly is my bread and butter, but mindset, psychology, behavior change.

Dude, this stuff is everywhere. It’s everywhere. And I know when you’ve probably been listening to these episodes, or maybe you’ve been through some of my Programs or workshops that your mind likely goes there on its own. And you start thinking like, Oh, I see how I can apply this to my life over here. And I see how I can apply this to parenting and whatever.

And that is. So yes, it’s so important to consider mindset when we’re talking about coaching clients and working with people to change their behavior, but it’s pretty frickin important everywhere else in the world, in life, too. So when we’re talking red flags, green flags, what I’m really saying here is like red flags being Things that are indicative of a fixed mindset and green flags being things that are indicative of a growth mindset.

And so you can be looking for red flags and green flags in yourself. Yes, of course, in your clients or patients or whoever it is that you work with in your job. If you are a CEO, a business owner, or you are just managing people. You could be looking for red flags and green flags in those people. Oh my gosh.

Dating? If you are like me, and you’re getting beat up by the dating scene. Okay, that’s a little aggressive. I’m not really getting beat up. It’s just, um, it’s just a little bit annoying sometimes, you know? Um, I mean, if you can imagine what it might be like going on a date with me, I promise I don’t put, like, my psychology and mindset forward things on the table, like, on a first date.

I’m not trying to, like, scare everybody away. Um, but it’s, It’s damn near impossible for me to not be looking for these kinds of red flags and green flags when I am going on dates and meeting new people and that sort of thing. So if you are also single, putting yourself out there, meeting new people, going on dates, these are things that you can also kind of look for because I would imagine if you’re listening to this podcast.

And you are also out there in the dating world, you probably care to find someone who has a growth mindset. Just, just a hunch. So, when we get into these, I really want you to think like where else this could be applied, and I’m going to share some examples from other areas too, so we’re not just talking about from like a health and fitness coaching perspective.

So, that said, we will start with the success of other people. When we are looking at someone else being successful, and again, this could go literally for so many different things, we really want to look for green flags, growth mindset indicators, that the person you are evaluating, assessing, gosh, that seems like so intense, like, I need everyone who’s listening to know that I don’t go on dates and I’m just like, assessing people.

Like, I don’t, I don’t do that. At least, I’m not like Consciously, I’m doing that, um, but if you are someone who runs a team, you have employees, staff members, and you’re trying to be on the lookout for growth mindset, green flags to, to praise essentially in those people, or red flags, this is one that you want to look for.

When it comes to team members, you can think about how people on your team are reacting to the success of other team members. So if another team member is getting praised for something, maybe they hit a certain KPI or goal in the company and you’re getting into slack and congratulating them and everyone’s like jumping in on that message.

How are people responding to that? Is there someone who you’ve noticed on your team who may be. This would be a red flag. Rarely actually joins in on that, but they respond to, like, everything else. Or they’re very short with, like, oh, congrats, you know, versus someone else, which would be more of a green flag, growth mindset indicator.

Someone else is always jumping in with, like, oh my gosh, this is so impressive. Your effort is so appreciated and, like, you’re so inspiring and, and things like that. So be on the lookout for that amongst your Like inside your company, because that also then influences the company culture as a whole. I can tell you, which I’m sure you’re not surprised, this is something that I’m constantly looking out for with my team members in my company.

And really when I see those green flags, I’m doing everything that I can to recognize the green flag and reinforce it. And when it comes to fixed mindset red flags. I am not necessarily calling that person out, right? We don’t want to just go to them and be like, that sounds like a fixed mindset, Sharon.

We want to instead maybe just ask some more questions around that. Or can you tell me more about how you’re feeling and like why that’s coming up for you? Um, or is there a different way we could potentially see this? Or I’m wondering if This could look this way instead. You know, there’s a lot of different ways to present that without it coming off as attacking because something you want to keep in mind is if someone is sitting, leaning towards more of a fixed mindset, they will be sensitive and more likely to take things as a personal attack because it feels personal to them because they don’t actually believe that they can change, that they can improve, that it’s just like who they are.

They’re kind of stuck that way. So if you go after them, they’re going to think like, Well, there’s nothing I can do about this. It’s just who I am, so it’s going to feel like a personal attack. If you’re a parent, listen, I’m not a parent. And I know, like, I can say up and down that I am because I have a dog, but when I tell you my dog is more like a cat, she really does not require any parenting.

Like, I can’t even call myself a parent to my dog. She just takes care of herself. Leti, she’s just a freaking angel. But I’m not going to pretend to be a mother. Okay, so for those of you who are parents and you’re listening to this like, well, what is the first thing she knows about parenting? I don’t, but I do know a lot about mindset and I know how it can impact your children from the way that you are presenting in your own mindset or picking up on their mindset, right?

And we really want to be able to reinforce a growth mindset in our children, of course. The future. These are, these little beings are our future and we want them to cultivate a growth mindset and take that into the world with them. So let’s say you have two children and one sibling comes home with like an A on a report or something and another one has like a B or a C or something.

How does the B or the C child Actually react to the child who has the A, because the one who has the A is going to be super excited to show you and be really proud and, and stoked. And the other child who’s maybe witnessing this may feel like that’s like, I’m not, I’m not good enough. I’m not living up to that.

I’m not, I’m never going to be able to do that. Something, something along those lines. And we don’t want them to start to go that direction because if they start to really internalize it, it’s going to be hard for them to go the other direction, right? So pay attention to that with your kids and like how they’re reacting to the success of, it could be anyone, but I think where it would be most prominent is if you do have Multiple children in the household and one sees some form of success, like, how do the others react to that success?

Seeing that success and celebrating that success and saying, I don’t know, what is something that a child would say, like, Oh, that’s so cool, like, I can’t wait until I get an A on a report like this too, like, that would be a very growth mindset oriented green flag. Them saying, like, oh, I just can’t wait until I get to do that too, like, it’s obviously in me, right, I just haven’t done it yet.

Versus. Red flag fixed mindset being, I just like, I don’t know why I can’t do that too. Like, why, why, why not me, you know? So, that said, other, other places where this could show up, like going back to Dating, meeting new people. If you are on a date with someone new, maybe you’re talking about something, some form of success that you had recently at work or, um, I was on a first date with someone recently and I had just wrapped up the HMCC launch and they were asking questions about it and stuff and I was obviously willing to share and it was really cool to see how he reacted to it because it wasn’t.

And I’ve had this before too where, um, the guy that I was out with, I was like sharing something and he didn’t really seem that interested. He just wanted to turn it back on to himself and talk about his own successes. And. Growth Mindset Green Flag is, like, the first guy that I was just mentioning, not the, not the latter.

Um, and just, like, really asking questions, being really intrigued, and definitely didn’t see my success as a threat to his own, whereas the former, the second guy that I mentioned, um, he was just, it, it didn’t, maybe threatening is too strong of a word here, but it just felt like, It wasn’t something that he wanted to hear because it did, it, it felt like it was undermining his own success in some way and that was obviously like quite a turn off and like I can see right through that mindset, you know, and just something to look out for because obviously I would like to end up with someone who is not going to see my success as a threat to their own, and in fact maybe even see My success is inspiring to them, or pushes them to want to reach new heights, new levels, whatever.

Um, so that’s a big one. The success of other people. How someone is responding to that, and obviously you can put yourself in the position of all of this too, like how you respond to the success of other people. Okay, feedback is another big one. I mean, when we think about staff members, kids, you’re thinking about your friendships, and if they’re serving you.

When you are giving feedback to people, how are they responding? Because a big, big growth mindset, green flag, would be someone who’s actually actively seeking out feedback. So, I’m like, I have a couple staff members right now. Honestly, my entire team is Awesome. And I’m so grateful for that. There is no successful business without a successful team.

For sure. And when I say successful team, I mean growth mindset oriented team. And I definitely have team members who like actively come to me and are like, can you tell me more about how I did on this or how this went or what you think of this so I can learn more going forward. And then it’s just like, oh my gosh.

Music to my ears and same thing with like kids if they’re coming up to you and they’re like, I want to learn more about this. I want to get better at this. I want to improve at this. Like tell me how I can get better. Tell me like, wow, maybe what wasn’t as good about this. So next time I can do it differently or like improve it.

Growth mindset, green flag all the way. Um, Man, and like dating too, like this is, this can be a really big one because as you’re getting to know someone and sort of trying to decide if you want to continue to see them, continue to go on dates with them, there are probably going to be instances where you do have to provide some form of feedback, or you are going to have to accept some feedback.

And this is such, such, such a great time to sort of see how they show up, whether it’s more growth mindset or fixed mindset. Notice that, like, please notice that when you are giving feedback, if they’re like, thank you so much for sharing this with me, I’m Makes me feel really good because now I know, like, how to adjust going forward to, like, make this better for you or whatever.

And, like, that would be just, like, ding, ding, ding. Like, it’s not an issue that I have to give you feedback, but how you react to that feedback and what you do with that feedback speaks volumes, right? So that’s, that’s a really, really big thing. And next one is setbacks. Man, setbacks. This is so big. If you are In any kind of like managerial role and managing other people, especially if you are kind of like in charge of the, of the, the success of the team as a whole, like you’re monitoring those metrics, those KPIs of those people, if things don’t go as planned.

How are those people reacting to it? Are they getting upset? They’re just getting frustrated? They’re clearly just like beside themselves or like so upset or, you know, a little bit of that might be warranted depending on the situation. But then what do they do after that? Do they pivot or do they stay pissed?

Because that’s the big difference. A pivoter would be A green flag, green flag growth mindset, whereas someone who stays pissed or just throws in the towel or something like that, like that is a very clear fixed mindset red flag. Kids, if they don’t achieve what they’re trying to achieve, do they keep pushing forward?

Do they keep trying? Or do they just like give up? You know, I’m like picturing in my head. Like, a two year old sitting on the ground, like, trying to put boxes, you know those, like, little games that are, um, like, different, it’s like square peg round hole, like that, that type of thing. And they’re trying to, like, fit the different cubes into the specific slots that they match, and some kids may be working on that and getting really frustrated because they can’t find the right one to go into the right spot.

And do they continue to persevere? Or like I’m picturing like maybe a kid gets up and just like kicks it and like goes and plays with something else. So you can see the difference in like is their growth mindset present here or is it more fixed mindset? Like I just, I’m just not capable so I’m going to move on to the next thing.

Um, let’s see. I’m trying to do my best to, like, hit all these different areas that I keep coming back to, like, parenting, staff members, dating, um, and trying not to do as much, like, coaching related stuff because I feel like that’s what I talk about all the time, um, but if you’re seeing someone who maybe has an issue with a project at work that’s, like, setting them back and they’re telling you about it, How are they describing it?

Is it, gosh this is just like so frustrating because I know I’m capable of doing it and I know what this could be and I know the impact it’s going to make and we’re just like not there yet and like that it’s kind of like a challenging place to be in but like oh like I just want to get there and I know that I can.

That growth mindset green flag all the way. Versus, like, this is so annoying and, like, people aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing and I just feel like it’s never going to get done and what’s expected of me is literally just, like, not even possible. Obviously, I’m, like, painting the picture of, like, pretty intense green versus red.

growth versus fixed here, but you probably can pick up what I’m putting down. So just in general, someone with a growth mindset is going to see setbacks as almost like helpful because it’s helping you reroute to a better, more productive direction. Whereas someone with a fixed mindset is more likely to see setbacks as.

evidence that they’re just like not capable. Like, oh, here we go again. Like, I knew this was gonna happen. You know, that type of language. So be on the lookout for that. Be on the lookout. Ah, challenges. Challenges and setbacks, I guess, could kind of almost be one in the same, but I feel like a setback is like, The thing already happened in the way that you didn’t want it to, whereas a challenge is something that, like, you’re in the thick of it right now.

So, in general, growth mindset, green flag, you see challenges as something that you want to embrace. You’re like, bring it on type of mentality, right? Whereas fixed mindset, red flag, when it comes to challenges, those people are more likely to assume that If something is challenging, that means that they’re not cut out for it, that it should come easy, it should come naturally, in a way.

And that like, oh, other people have it so much easier than me, that must mean that I’m just like, not meant to do this, which is You know, not true, but it can feel that way sometimes, especially if you have a fixed mindset. So, kind of thinking of an example actually from my own team. Shout out to Kira.

She’s my right hand woman in my business and just, she’s always one step ahead of me and she’s just brilliant and I love her dearly. For those of you who have interacted recently inside, like, the Health Mindset Coaching Certification or the three part series that I did recently, the Coaching Code. You saw Kira interacting in there a lot.

And you will continue to if you are a current student. And just know that most of the time, most of the time, these are things that she’s doing on her own volition. Like, she’s just going after it. It’s not me saying, like, please go make this post. Please go do this. She’s just, like, such a go getter. And she has such a beautiful growth mindset all of the time.

Um, an example from this recent HMCC launch, we were having, gosh, just like so many issues. Kajabi. Listen, I love Kajabi. It’s the platform that I use for email marketing, websites, product build out, literally everything. And we were having issues with the form, so when people add their name and email to register for the coaching code, that free three part series that I did, and some people were going to submit their name and email and it wasn’t taking them anywhere, so they were like clicking the button and nothing would happen, like, and that’s like a nightmare.

If you were trying to get literally thousands of people into this mechanism in order to then, like, sell your signature program, which is what this was, right? We’re also spending money on ads. We’re like, are we just, like, losing money here? Like, what is going on? And, so when I found this out, I went to Kira and was like, yo, we got And I was actually, I was at the gym when I found out that this was happening.

And so I was sending her messages. And like, before I could even say anything else, she wasn’t like, coming back to me and saying like, Well, I don’t know how to figure this out. Like, she’s not 100 percent Kajabi proficient. Like, she doesn’t know coding and things like that, where that’s like, likely the issue that we were having.

And instead of being like, Okay, well, I don’t really know how to figure this out. Which she didn’t know. Instead, she went and sought out resources. She went and signed up for a one on one call with someone from Kajabi and was like reading all of these different like blog posts and trying to like piece all the things together and she like had this stuff figured out before I even left the gym.

And it was not because she knew, it was because she thought, this is something that I feel like I I’m capable of figuring out even though I don’t know right now and like, that is such a great example of a growth mindset in that situation. Let’s see, kids. They can’t figure out their homework, a puzzle, whatever.

Do they, do they lean into that challenge and, and like, really, you know, again, I just like getting these, like, images of, Little kids sitting on the floor, like, playing with, like, Legos or something. And they’re, like, really concentrated, you know. They got their, like, tongue sticking out the side of their mouth.

And they’re, like, you may, like, go to, like, interrupt them, maybe to try to help them. And they’re, like, no, no, no, no. I got this. I want to do it myself, type of thing. Versus, like, again, just getting, like, frustrated, crying. wanting to go do something else. Um, again, kind of similar to where you could see like the, the setbacks and the challenges are, are similar here, but like, we’re really talking about like, when you’re in the thick of it, like, how are you reacting to it?

Um, let’s see, uh, dating. Um, if you’re on a date with someone and they’re talking about like life, something that happens a lot, right. It’s like, especially first couple of dates, it’s, You learn a little bit more about just their life trajectory, things that they’ve been through, where they’re from, like, how they got to where they are today type of thing.

And actually there is a guy that I was seeing at the beginning of the year for a short period of time. It is September right now as I’m recording this, so in my little time you’re listening to this it’s probably like almost, it may be November. Um, he really impressed me and like I could really see a growth mindset in him when he was describing sort of his path to where he got to.

And he’s, he was a very successful person. And so I was very curious, you know, how did you get into this line of work, which is, it was a very unique line of work. I’ll say that. Um, but he’s very successful in that area. Um, and listening to him tell the stories, like, obviously I, again, I, I do this without trying, right?

Like I’m not evaluating these people. I’m not assessing them from like a psychological perspective, but the way that he would describe, like, Oh my god, all this shit he went through, like the number of times he like lost a bunch of money and then like had to like figure out how to gain it back and just like listening to him describe it and talk about how it shaped who he is as a person, how grateful he is for some of these like really shitty moments in his life.

That, obviously, growth mindset, green flag, and like green flag just in general, right? For someone to be able to reflect on really hard moments and also like, in the moment be talking about those hard moments and how he continued to persevere and seek resources and never once saw this as like, this is not the path I’m supposed to be on.

Let me just like try to figure it out. And clearly that ended up working really well for him. And so like, number one, super attractive. Number two, very clear growth mindset in this guy, right? So like things you can. Ask maybe on like some first dates. I really am not trying to turn this into like a, a dating podcast, is going to be reflective of situations in my life and it just so happens, ya girl is single.

So, um, things that you can like ask on dates too around this. I really, really like to ask like what you learned from your past relationship, like what that looked like. And honestly It’s been a wide range. You would think that people would at least, like, say something positive, you know, in those moments because they are trying to, like, impress you.

But there’s been a lot of times where I’ve asked that question and it has not been, it’s been red flaggy, fixed mindset red flaggy for sure, versus growth mindset green flaggy. So that’s a really good question to ask. And also I think there’s like something to it when they. Just, like, don’t say a lot or don’t have a lot to say because that also means they haven’t spent a lot of time reflecting on it and, like, trying to learn from it and trying to grow from it.

So, I mean, obviously, take that with a grain of salt, but Okay, those are the quick and dirty red and green flags from a mindset perspective. And Just in general, I would love for you to continue to think when you’re in these different areas of your life, whether it’s parenting, dating, managing team members, obviously coaching, and your friendships, and literally anything, just like, kind of like, tune in to these things, and also Obviously.

Yourself. Tune in to these things for yourself. Where are you, my dear, showing up with some fixed mindset red flags in your life? And where can you start to maybe really sort of force yourself to start like transitioning from the red flag to the green flag in a situation? Um. And know that you can use this info to assess so many different things, whether you are questioning again where your own mindset is at, you’re evaluating team members or employees, especially in the hiring process.

Like, are you kidding me? Like, be on the lookout for this stuff. When you’re going on dates with someone new, when you’re trying to decide if it’s someone you want to continue to see, like, this is something that you should be, like, on the lookout for. Obviously understanding why your client is maybe like having a hard time sticking to the plan, like what’s going on here.

Are you seeing red flags or green flags when it comes to the things that they’re working through when they, they go up against challenges, when they have setbacks, when they’re receiving feedback from you, all of these things that I talked about. Mindset is everywhere. And if you can get a good handle on your ability to pick out red flags and green flags from a mindset perspective.

That’s not only going to do you so much good in your own personal development journey, in your own growth journey, in your ability to be successful, but also the other people that you are allowing into your life. And I know, like, obviously some of these people, family members, children, you didn’t, like, to some degree, maybe you allowed children into your life, but they are just, like, people in your life.

And, uh, I’d also encourage you to see this as an opportunity to positively influence those people in your life, and there’s just like, there’s so much power in not only recognizing these things, but trying to introduce more green flags into your life and into the lives of others. Okay my friends, we’re gonna cut it there.

Short and sweet. Please let me know how you like this episode. Please reach out. I love hearing from you guys, but otherwise, I’ll see you next time.