Ah, all right. Today we’re talking mistakes. Mistakes that all of you out there are making.  I’m kidding. Kidding. Honestly, mistake is even kind of like a harsh word to be using in the first place, I feel like. Um, especially just because I know  where these mistakes are typically stemming from. And it’s usually  A pretty good place.

And I think the word I would probably prefer to use is misstep, but would you click on this episode if I was like, here are some missteps. But if I’m like, here are some mistakes.  Now you’re listening. Now you’re all listening.  I say missteps and I say I understand where this is coming from because  it really is just truly  the fault of the nutrition and exercise industry as a whole, like governing body certification industry, like who is teaching our health and fitness coaches,  because none of this is taught and if it is, it gets very little airtime.

Um, and what I’m talking about is like behavior change, mindset, psychology, a lot of this like. underlying really important stuff when it comes to helping our clients and knowing how to communicate with our clients because you can know all there is to know about strength training and macros and carbohydrate utilization and hypertrophy.

But if you don’t know how to actually communicate with your clients and you don’t understand them at a psychological level. level you are going to continue to run into roadblocks. And we’ve all been there, clients who are self sabotaging, saying that they’re super motivated and they’re ready to go, but then they just like can’t seem to stick with it.

And it’s super frustrating. And some of the mistakes that I see That we’re going to go over. These missteps, rather, um, are usually made by coaches who are good coaches. Coaches who really care, who are really operating from the heart. And that’s what sucks, is that it’s missteps  that are made unintentionally by good coaches.

Coaches, but I really do believe that if those good coaches, which I know many, many, many of you are listening right now  would be able to better understand these missteps and get a stronger foundation when it comes to mindset, behavior, change, and psychology, then you will become a great coach. Take your good coaching to great coaching, have better client adherence, longer retention rates. 

It’s generally just feel less frustrated when you sit down to do your client check ins. So okay,  although there are plenty of missteps out there, we are going to cover four of the most common that I see after I’ve worked with at this point, geez, close to a thousand coaches, whether it was in a one on one like mentorship capacity, a coaching capacity, um, inside the certification.

Yeah, lots of coaches I have worked with. And this is.  A few of the missteps that I do see tend to be the most common.  The first one is, the first misstep, the first mistake. See, it’s like, yeah, it just feels too harsh. We’re gonna stick with misstep even though the title of this is mistake.  Is only discussing the benefits of changing. 

It’s this idea that you shouldn’t  ask clients about the benefits that come from not changing. So. We should not go to our clients and ask them about why their current unhealthy lifestyle is good for them.  That is a misstep.  And the problem that this presents and why it is a misstep, because you might be thinking like, what do you mean, Casey?

Like, why, I wouldn’t want my clients to be talking about all of the good things that are coming from their unhealthy behaviors. That sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? But, Really, you’re missing out on crucial information about your client  and the reasons why their current less healthy lifestyle or whatever, insert whatever thing it is that they’re trying to change, why that works for them.

We want to understand. As coaches, why those current behaviors unhealthy or otherwise, whatever it is they want to change, there’s a reason that they’re hanging on to it, you know, and it’s not just because they’ve done it forever, like there’s a reason that it’s actually providing benefit to them as humans.

We rarely do things if it’s not. beneficial to us in some way. Like we’re not interested in doing it if we get nothing back from it. Like there’s zero ROI, right? So your job as the coach  is to figure out what that ROI is for them. Like, okay, you’re having fast food six times a week. And we’re just talking about all the benefits of changing.

Like if you were to eat at home, you could do that with your kids. You would feel better, more energy. You would maybe save some money. Like, I don’t know. We talk about all those things, but we don’t talk about. Why is, why is the fast food actually beneficial to you? Why is that behavior  doing something for you?

How is it adding to your life? Because it is in some way, otherwise they wouldn’t be doing it. And the  fact of the matter is, if you can better understand that, then you can actually start to help them change that behavior. And what’s beautiful about that too is that when you go to a client and you ask them to share a little bit more about  Why their current lifestyle or unhealthy behaviors, whatever it is that they’re, they’re working to change why that’s good for them.

Why that’s adding to their lives and tell them like I’m not saying this like sarcastically like I truly want to better understand what this is doing for your life because I’m sure it’s doing something otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it.  They will start to explain why that is. Again, yeah, maybe they save time.

Um, it’s just super easy. It feels overwhelming to like cook at home. So like, why don’t I just like keep going through the drive thru type of thing?  And when they’re explaining this, and this is what I’ve seen from clients firsthand when I’ve used this strategy before,  is that they will actually start to share some change talk with you.

Change talk being, they will start saying things like, Okay, it saves me a lot of time, it feels easier, like I can hit it on my way home from work, and then I have more time with kids when I get home, but I know, I know it’s not very good for me, and I know that if I were to not eat so much fast food, I would probably feel better, have more energy with my kids, and you know what, I’ve been thinking about it, like I could probably make some recipes at home and get the kids involved too, so  You see what I’m saying?

And like, it often goes that direction that if you’re like, Hey, tell me a little bit more about what this is adding to your life. Like, seriously, I want to know because I’m sure there are some things and it would help me better understand. And then they start to share those things. They usually go the direction of, but,  or however, or I do really want to change this though, even though it’s adding these things to my life or whatever.

Very, very often it goes that direction. So just know it seems like You should never have them spend time on all of the good stuff that is coming from their unhealthy behaviors. But it can actually work really well.  Okay, misstep number two is allowing clients to attempt massive changes.  When clients are new to you, they’re so excited to get started, and I’m willing to bet  Literally, all of your clients are this way.

When they first get started with you, those first few weeks, like, they are gung ho, they’re ready to do everything, they want to try everything, and it is a misstep for coaches to allow their clients to do that. That, okay, if you’re really excited right now, like, let’s ride that wave. And I’m not saying we want to put like a damper on the excitement of our clients, but you have to remember that the clients are They’re able to do this because they’re riding on a short term sense of hope. 

They want to do it all, but they might be overzealous, they probably are, and their self efficacy will tank when they can’t meet the expectations that they’re setting for themselves.  These wild expectations of like, I can do this, and I can do that, I can hit my water intake, I can go to the gym six times a week, and I’m going to hit 10, 000 steps, and all the, they’re so excited, and they feel really hopeful, and they know that you’re going to help them.

So, they get overzealous, but then the reality of their situation hits, and they don’t hit those expectations, and it can just be like a downward spiral from there. Because now then it becomes, oh man, I was so excited and so hopeful, but I’m already like screwing up, and it’s only the first month. You know, so.

Instead, as a coach, you should be asking about their current lifestyle. Maybe have them paint the ideal picture of what they want to be able to accomplish, what they are doing on a day to day basis, and then say, okay, based on that, what’s maybe one or two things that you feel like you can start inserting into your current lifestyle right now?

And spend some more time learning about their current lifestyle, so that you can kind of be Cautious for them. So when they are in this space of like being overzealous and super excited that you can say, Hey, I know this is something you’re interested in doing, but from what we talked about before, like your schedule doesn’t really seem like it’s going to support that.

So can we talk about maybe an option, like a help, like a healthy, happy middle ground, like what do you say? And go from there and help them get to that place so they don’t run into this like.  Super, super excited. I want to do all the things. I’m going to try all the things and then they do and then they plummet  and then they stay down there because they’re frustrated and they’ve had situations in the past where they have started things, seen some success and then fallen off the wagon and it’s like they just feel like they’re repeating a pattern when it does not have to go that way. 

Misstep number three, ignoring the bad and only focusing on the good. And this is for all of my, like, cheerleader type coaches out there.  Just this belief that we should always be zeroing in on our clients strengths, and Not spending time on, like, the slip ups or the mistakes. Um, I know it can be really easy when our clients have, like, a rough weekend or something and we just say, Hey, no big deal.

We’ve got a fresh week ahead of us. Let’s just brush that under the rug and move along. And I do think that there’s a time and a place for that.  If you have a client who is  on their shit 90 percent of the time and they have a week where they were traveling and it’s just like, You know, went over macros, didn’t feel really good, only got to the gym once when I thought I was going to be able to go three times.

And for you to be like really harping on them about those mistakes when it’s something that rarely happens to them, I don’t think that’s necessary.  And it, in fact, could be more harmful, right? So that might be a situation where it’s like, Dude, you’re good. You had one week. One week is a drop in the ocean because you are so on top of it otherwise.

Don’t even worry about it. And really help them get into that headspace so they don’t like tunnel down into this like  place of like shame and guilt, right?  If you have a client though, who, and this is honestly I feel like the more common thing, um, you see this pattern of like on the wagon, off the wagon, feels motivated, doesn’t feel motivated, self sabotages, is on the plan, like stuff like that. 

And you’re just.  More often than not saying no big deal, we’ll just pick up next week or  something like that and I know it can feel uncomfortable sometimes as the coach too, because you don’t want them to feel worse if they’re already feeling bad about like not sticking to the plan or not having a great week or whatever.

Um, so, yeah. Whatever, but without properly addressing the slip ups, your clients aren’t going to be in any better position to tackle them in the future. And I think we can all agree that slip ups, setbacks, obstacles, challenges, all those fun things.  are going to happen again. Like, that’s not a one time thing, right?

So instead, we want to normalize that mistakes are going to happen. That,  like, weeks that feel like you’re going in the other direction are kind of part of the process and are inevitable. And empathize with them. And say, like, this is You know, for better or for worse, just kind of part of the process. And to be honest, like, if you were 100 percent perfect all the time, I would be more concerned than I am right now, right?

And ask them maybe what they would do differently next time and start to formulate a game plan. Like, okay, so that happened. What do we learn from this? And this is such a good, like, growth mindset, cultivating exercise, too. What do we learn from this? Because, like, if we’re gonna be honest,  shit’s probably gonna hit the fan again in the future.

And instead of just pretending like it didn’t happen, like, let’s learn from this and know that Things like this will probably present again, so we can just navigate it better next time. Like, no big deal. You know, so we don’t want to, again, like still harp on the mistakes regardless, and help them get to a place of seeing this as a learning opportunity.

And I’m not even sure that I would go to a client and say like, well, let’s use this as a learning opportunity, Sheila. Like, I think I literally would be like, hey, no big deal.  This happens. It’s going to happen. So what can we take from this situation knowing that there’s going probably gonna be more situations like this in the future.

And like, do you think there’s gonna be more situations like this in the future? And what are your thoughts on like just being better prepared for it next time? Or like, what would that really look like? What would have to happen for that to look different? And just have like a, have a conversation.  Have a conversation, communicate with your clients. 

And then I totally just lost my,  my missteps. My lineup of missteps. Okay. Misstep number four. Oh my goodness. This one.  This should have been number one. Not that they’re like ranked in any way, but if they were, this would be the first one. . This should be number one,  and that is immediately providing suggestions or solutions. 

This is the, the misstep, the mistake, the belief. That needs to be adjusted here is that clients work with you because you’re the expert, you have all the answers, so they’re paying you so that you can provide them solutions. That is like the,  again, I’m trying not to use super harsh words, but I want to say like incorrect belief, but it’s not that like you’re not incorrect if you believe this way, it’s just that’s all you were ever taught, so I get it.

But the problem this presents is that. In an effort to help your clients by just providing solutions or telling them what to do, you miss out on the opportunity to actually help them change, which should be the goal, right? Behavior change should be the goal. Not just follow these guidelines. Oh, that didn’t work.

Now try this instead. Oh, that didn’t work. Maybe we do it this way.  And you guys know how that goes. And it just ends up being like trial and error for six months. So what you can try instead. Is just let your client be in the driver’s seat first and foremost, ask them what has worked for them in the past, what ideas they may have before you list off your ideas, just generally get their insight and input.

On the situation and what ideas they may have and I’m not saying that every single time you should say like, well, you tell me what you think we should do instead of me telling you, like, I don’t think it needs to be that way every time, um, and it could be presented as, hey, I have some ideas for you, some stuff that’s worked well for other clients. 

But I don’t want to make the assumption that you are just like my other clients, because you’re a unique person and you know yourself best. So before I get into that, I’d love to hear just like generally your thoughts and where you think we could go with this. See how like easy that is? And it’s not taking away like your expertise or your knowledge.

It’s saying, I have some stuff for you, but like I want you to be in charge. Because like you know your life best. You know yourself best.  Big one. Really, really big one. Okay, those are the four.  That I wanted to go over today. Maybe I’ll have a part two eventually that is  another four because there are plenty.

And again, I want to reiterate that this  is almost always stemming from a place of just really wanting to help clients and doing these things and not realizing that they may be doing more harm than good in the long run when we’re talking about. sustained behavior change.  Okay. There’s a lot more I feel like I could say about this, but I kind of want to keep this shorter and sweeter.

So we’ll leave it at that. I hope this was helpful and I’ll see you next time.