I feel like this is an episode that is kind of long overdue, just because I’ve talked about motivational interviewing. Sort of like in the background of most episodes, I feel like. Because so much of good communication, effective communication from a behavior change standpoint, does stem from the concepts that come from Motivational interviewing.

And, I Why am I holding an energy drink? I also, also, fun fact, I haven’t mentioned this on the podcast, I have been a sponsored athlete by Legion Athletics. They do not sponsor the podcast, they do sponsor me. And they recently just came out with energy drinks. And I’ve been working with Legion since 2017, which is crazy.

Um, and they’ve been talking about creating an energy drink for Years, and they finally did, and I was a little hesitant at first because all of their stuff is no artificial anything, really great ingredients, and sometimes that means it doesn’t taste as great, but this is the, what do they actually call this, lemon lime?

It’s like a Sprite kind of flavor, but Lord knows I needed some form of caffeine going into podcast recording today. I’m just dragging a little bit. I do this thing where like, you know, when you sit in the car for 10 minutes before you go into the gym because you’re just like delaying actually going in and getting started.

I do that with podcast episodes. I feel like the days, like today, where I’m recording a handful of podcasts in a day. I could be so much more efficient with it if I was not doing the delaying thing, but we’re doing that, and so my way of not delaying was like, I’m going to crack an energy drink and that will get me to do it, right?

Um. It didn’t work that well, but I did. I am here. I am here. Um, okay. So anyway, motivational interviewing. It’s been really cool actually to see because a lot of talks that I do, whether I’m like speaking on stages or I’m doing guest presentations virtually or what have you, I’m talking a lot. about change based communication or just communication strategies for behavior change and teaching coaches how to leverage that with their clients.

And over the years that I have been talking about motivational interviewing, more and more people have understood what it is. So I kind of do like the raise your hand if you’ve heard of this before. And there’s been more and more hands going up as the years have gone on. And I love to see it because that means that.

Uh, evidence based practices in communication are making their way into the health and fitness coaching space. Motivational interviewing was first introduced to me, uh, when I was still in my PhD and I was researching behavior change, and at some point or another, you come across motivational interviewing.

And then, I actually worked at a pharmaceutical marketing company one summer, as I was wrapping up. my PhD. And a big part of what we would teach is motivational interviewing. And we would, it’s pharmaceutical marketing in that we’re like trying to help people stick to their treatment plan from their doctors, whether that’s with medication or what have you.

And we would go to call centers for some of these larger pharmaceutical companies and teach the people who are on the phone with people about motivational interviewing. And these would be like two day long Seminars, workshops with people to teach the principles of motivational interviewing, get them to practice them.

And inside the Health Mindset Coaching Certification, we have two full weeks that are dedicated to communication strategies. And a big part of that is M. I., motivational interviewing. You’re going to hear me say M. I. instead just because I don’t want to use the whole motivational interviewing every time.

Um, when I, when I first came across M. I., I, I was like, motivational interviewing, so is this like a, a certain way that you interview people? Like, for jobs? And obviously was wrong with that. It really is a client centered communication method for guiding behavior change. And we have loads, I mean loads, of research to support motivational interviewing being helpful from a behavior change perspective.

A lot of the research and kind of like why it was designed in the first place. What’s in the space of addiction. So, you know, counselors, therapists, helping people get through addiction and break their addictions using motivational interviewing as a guided communication strategy. And the first thing I want to talk about here is just, I mean, something that we all know and understand, I think, in our day to day lives is just how important communication really is.

And. I think it sometimes gets glossed over because it kind of just feels like fluffy stuff. Like, okay, like the way that I communicate with someone, sure, yes, I know that’s important, but these other things are more important, right? But ultimately, and what I’ve seen over my years in the coaching space, both being a coach myself, having a team of coaches, mentoring hundreds and hundreds of coaches, it’s very clear.

I think that communication can be the reason that your closing rates are only 20%, that your clients aren’t adherent to the plan or don’t want it bad enough, or why your clients continue to ghost you, or you feel like your clients are making their way into a fixed mindset and they’re like really stubborn or something along those lines.

That could be a result of the way that you’re communicating with your people and it’s happening Whether you realize it or not, and that’s kind of like the I was gonna say like the scary part But that’s more intense than it needs to be. It’s just so sneaky It’s sneaky and that you may not realize that your communication strategies are the reason that you’re struggling with all of these things so If you’re listening to this episode and you’re like, sure, I’ll give this, uh, give this a listen and see, like, what I can pick up from it, just please try to keep an open mind because I also don’t want this to come off as, like, attacking that, like, you don’t know how to communicate with your clients.

However, I am willing to bet there is more that you could be doing from a communication perspective. And if I told you, like, you’re going to sign more clients, you’re going to keep your clients longer, your clients are going to struggle less because of this, Then, I think you should, I think you should listen.

Listen intently here. So, another part of communication, too, is remembering that it’s kind of like job security, in a way. AI, ChatGPT, all of these tools we have, and there’s so many companies out there that have different apps and stuff that act as coaches when they’re not really real humans on the other end.

Those things are great. And, I think, There’s so much from AI and ChatGPT, and I could go on and on about this, that is going to help our industry. However, on the same hand, a lot of people are worried that that means their jobs are in jeopardy. However, communication strategies and the things that we’re going to talk about today are what will ultimately set you apart from a lot of that stuff and does give you Job security, because these are uniquely human things that you can do with your clients, and with that said, too, if you don’t have the capacity to provide this type of communication and to leverage these effective communication strategies, then you do run the risk of feeling robotic to your clients, and I’ve even had this, oh my gosh, like so many times, so many times, where Clients would come to us and be leaving a previous coach because they felt like they weren’t getting that human connection.

And The, the level to which you can provide human connection is hinging on your communication skills. So, like, truly would have people come and say, I’ve lost weight, I’ve learned so much, I’ve gotten better in all these categories. I just don’t feel like my coach was really listening to me or I didn’t feel like I had a connection with them and all of that.

And so much of that comes down to your communication. And. The thing is too, I think so many people are good communicators, and I’m willing to bet the majority of you listening to this, if you’re listening to this podcast, you’re already a good communicator. However, there is a difference between being a good communicator and actually being an effective communicator when it comes to behavior change.

And, uh, I often see the mistake of, like, over communication being seen as good and effective communication, or asking questions that aren’t necessarily supportive from a behavior change perspective, and then the assumption is, like, no, I am communicating, I’m asking questions. There’s just, there’s so much more to it, and it really is a learned skill.

And although I always ask, um, ask the audience when I’m doing talks on this stuff, and ask people if they think that communication is like a natural ability, something you’re born with, or it’s something that’s trained. And pretty much everyone says like a little bit of both, right? There’s people who are just sort of naturally more social, more communicative in general.

But again, I will continue to harp on this, just because you have that does not make you an effective communication person when it comes to behavior change and everything that we’re talking about today and on this podcast, and like big goals of effective communication that you may not be getting from just good communication in general is we’re really trying to Guide clients to come up with solutions on their own and start to just like really take the reins in the coaching relationship and how you communicate with your clients will allow them to be able to do that, which ultimately takes more time and effort off your plate if your clients feel like they can take initiative and they feel competent enough to do so, and your communication strategies should allow them to do that.

Another big goal is just helping your clients uncover their reasons for wanting to change. And as coaches, we can get really caught up on making assumptions and thinking that we know what our clients want and the reasons that they have for changing, but we don’t want to do that. We really, really want to stay away from making assumptions and the way that you communicate with your clients can help them come to this conclusion and arrive at this, at the reasoning why they really want to be doing this stuff in the first place.

And we want that to come from them. and not from us as the coach. Also, with this type of communication, I’m kind of just like setting the stage here with all of this before we get into it. With effective communication strategies, you should be supporting the ABCs, which we have a whole podcast on autonomy, belongingness, and competence.

There are these psychological needs that we have as humans to stay motivated and to be motivated to do something. And if those needs are met, we’re more likely to stay motivated and be motivated. So through communication, you can support autonomy, belongingness, and competence. I’m gonna link the show notes, uh, in the show notes, the episode to the ABC’s podcast too, so you can go back and listen to that and get that broken down a little bit more.

But overall too, effective communication strategies can really help your clients kind of build this roadmap to come to the realization that things like nutrition and exercise and just taking care of themselves is The, is the road to a better life overall, and we all know that as health and fitness coaches, because a lot of us had that experience ourselves.

We got into the coaching industry because we recognized, and this is definitely the case for me too, recognized how much Strength training and nutrition and taking care of myself and seeing how good my body can actually feel and how much better that adds to my life in so many different ways, that now I wanted to do that for other people, and a lot of you listening to this are likely in that same boat.

But if someone else was telling you, you need to do all of these things because it’s going to make your life better, that is, Not very convincing. So instead, with effective communication, we can help our clients arrive at that conclusion themselves, rather than us telling them. And in doing so, with all of this, A big, big, big thing that we want to do is help our clients feel good and not feel bad for where they’re currently at.

And there can be a little bit of like a double edged sword effect where when clients start to recognize that this is something that they want and for all of these reasons, they also start to feel responsible for their current situation and feeling bad that they’re not making enough progress or that they are where they are, that they need to make these changes in the first place.

So the way you communicate with clients can actually help. Kind of bring that down a little bit so they’re not feeling so poorly about their current circumstances that they’re wanting to change in the first place. So that’s kind of, again, just kind of setting the stage for why the heck I’m even talking about this stuff and why it’s so important and how it really does like bleed into everything that you’re doing inside of your coaching practices.

And this is stuff too that can go into your sales and marketing. Like, when you’re writing, like, sales copy or, it’s right now we’re, like, moving into Black Friday, so I’m thinking a lot about just, like, how you’re presenting certain offers and stuff like that, like, I’m thinking about motivational interviewing a lot, like, when I’m writing sales emails, so, all that to say, as much as, like, The details of motivational interviewing and all of the different aspects of it are very, very important, and we’re going to get into all of those.

It’s important to understand what motivational interviewing is not, because I think it’s talked about in kind of the, in an incorrect way a lot. And there’s a few different things. First of all, motivational interviewing is not like a technique with a step by step process. In fact, it’s been studied to see if there’s a way, because wouldn’t that be convenient if we can just go, first ask this question, and then if your client responds this way, then ask this question and turn it into like this manual of effective communication.

So that’s actually been trialed out and it does not work very well. So it really is more fluid and should go with like the flux and flow of the communication and the conversations that you’re having with your clients. The next thing is that I like to say that it’s not a verb. Like you’re not doing it to your clients.

I’m not doing motivational interviewing to my client. It’s something you’re doing with them. So it is a collaborative process. And That just, like, goes so hand in hand with how coaching should be in general, or honestly, any type of, like, communication that you’re having, whether it’s with a friend, or your significant other, or whatever, should always be a more collaborative process, not something that, like, you’re doing to someone.

It’s also not the be all, end all. And my students get I get stuck in this a lot because it is so powerful and it’s something that’s so, like, easy to implement and very tangible, you know, when we’re talking about different concepts in psychology when it comes to habit formation or self control or motivation, mindset, all of these things that we talk about, like, inside my certification.

Motivational interviewing is one of those things that is just like a. I can take this and go insert it right away type of thing. And it can feel like, okay, I’m going to glom on to this. And even inside, like we do a final assessment, it’s like a case study at the end of the health mindset coaching certification.

And I have to literally say, you cannot just use motivational interviewing the whole time. Like I need you to go pull from other skills because it is such just like an easy thing to put in. However, that doesn’t mean that it is the right thing to use. with all clients in all situations all of the time.

And I do feel like sometimes folks get, just like, fall into that trap. It’s also not trickery. I think a lot of times when we’re talking about, okay, ask this question and it’s going to make them think this way. And then they’re going to go this direction and like, he, he, he, ha, ha, ha. Like it’s deceiving and and it is not.

It is not that. It is honestly kind of the opposite, like we’re trying to support autonomy and again help clients arrive at their own conclusions and solutions, not trying to trick them into thinking a certain way. Lastly, it is not easy. And it is not natural, and this is, again, a conversation I have with my students a lot because they’re like, oh, this just feels like so unnatural, or like, not the way that I would typically ask questions, or I wouldn’t usually ask a question here, or I wouldn’t be like reflecting back responses in this way, like it feels a little bit weird.

And to that I say, perfect, because it is not a super natural way of communicating, and it is a learned skill. All that to say, I have some notes here so I can remember exactly the direction that I want to go because it can go so many different directions when it comes to communication, but With motivational interviewing and the things that I want to talk about today are something that’s called the spirit of MI, so there’s a handful of different aspects that are sort of at the core of what motivational interviewing is, we’re going to go over that.

There are some guiding principles, so some things to like really keep in mind as you’re practicing motivational interviewing. And then there are skills within all of that. And obviously the skills are based on the guiding principles and the spirit of motivational interviewing. So I’m going to walk you through all of those and do my best to kind of come up with some examples and talk about how this can really apply to a health and fitness coaching context.

So, the spirit. of motivational interviewing. We have partnership, acceptance, compassion, and evocation. And that spells P. A. C. E. for what it’s worth. Um, I’m also giving you guys a little handy dandy PDF with some, some skills, some of this, these principles wrapped up into like an easy On the go, call it a cheat cheat, motivational interviewing guide.

So, that is linked in the show notes, so you can grab that for me, it’s something that I put together. I actually used a lot of, um, the information that I’ve put into presentations and stuff for some of those talks that I was talking about. Talks that I was talking about when I’ve, like, spoken on stages and that sort of thing, talking about change based communication.

So, if you’re listening to all of this and you’re like, How am I gonna remember all of that? You don’t have to, but I do want you to listen. Please listen now and then go ahead and download that cheat sheet guide so you have it and it’s going to be so much more effective if you listen to this episode and then have that guide so you can kind of put it all together.

So. So, P of the spirit of motivation, of motivational interviewing rather, P is for partnership. And this is essentially just remembering that you are not the expert on your client. And the coaching relationship really is a partnership. And if you are going at it as you are the authority, you know what’s best, you know what your client needs.

It’s, it’s going to go downhill quickly. So instead, what we’re really trying to do here is see that this is a partnership and have that collaboration with our clients and know that you don’t know them best and in fact they know themselves best. They may not know at like surface level. All of the things about themselves in order to help them be successful.

But then what’s beautiful about effective communication strategies is that you can help them go into the layers deeper to help them find those things. So it is a partnership in that you are helping them find those things, but you do not know them. Do not make assumptions. Okay? And we’ll get into some of like the guiding principles and skills that are related to partnership.

A is for acceptance. So you need to know that like, you’re not going to approve of. everything that your clients do, all of their desires. You may see certain things done in a quote unquote right way, but there are going to be right ways for that client that aren’t your way. So that doesn’t mean, you know, Okay, well, my client wants to go through the McDonald’s drive thru seven times per week and you’re like, Okay, I guess I just have to accept that.

No, not necessarily, but you have to accept the fact that there’s a reason why that they want to do that and maybe there is an option for them to still incorporate some of that into their lives. Obviously, I’m not sitting here and saying we should like encourage our clients to eat fast food all of the time.

But acceptance, accepting that you won’t approve of everything, but you can still accept That’s what your client is bringing to the relationship, and that’s who they are, and what their lifestyle looks like, what their challenges are, so acceptance. So we have partnership and acceptance, and then compassion.

So just kind of this idea of, we want to be supporting our client’s overall well being, however at the same time, We don’t want to suffer with them and oh my gosh, this is something that comes up so often in the coaching space and I can only imagine for folks who are maybe in more like therapeutic settings, their counselors, their therapists, their psychologists, whatever, where you are working with someone in like Teasing apart their emotions and hearing their stories and they are struggling and therefore you end up struggling and therefore you end up feeling those emotions and then you feel super drained at the end of the day because you’re pouring into these people and they’re giving you all of this.

And you’re just kind of harboring it yourself as well. And there’s actually a term for this. It’s called compassion fatigue. And I’ve actually done a couple trainings for those who are like in my, um, communities. My mentorship clients and stuff. Going over compassion fatigue because it is something that comes up a lot.

And I think more often than not, that’s a lot of times why people get out of coaching. It’s because they just feel like it’s too heavy. It’s too much. And we do. Hold a lot for our clients, but the goal would be that we can be compassionate and we can hear them out without suffering with them in that way, right?

So, partnership, acceptance, compassion, and finally, Evocation. I have a hard time saying this word. I want to say like, like, it’s evoking, like the idea is evoking. So we’re, the other term would be evoke, evocation, evocation, it’s kind of a tough word for me, but evoking is like what we’re really getting at.

And evoking meaning like we’re guiding clients to their strengths, their motivations, their abilities. And we’re like, uh, evoking that from them rather than like deciding it for them. So that’s what we’re looking at as far as the underlying kind of like core, the spirit, if you will, of motivational interviewing, partnership, acceptance, compassion, and evocation.

So with the spirit kind of being at the core, there are some guiding principles before we get into the skills. And the first one is resist the writing. Reflex. Oh my goodness, is this a big one. If you are multitasking and listening to this, I really need you to just pay attention to this one because it is the biggest one.

I feel like 30, 25 to 30 percent of my Instagram content when I’m talking about like, Quote, unquote, like mistakes that coaches make. It is this one. And it’s the reflex that we have as coaches to make things right, to provide solutions, to tell our clients what to do, especially when we feel like they’re struggling and we have answers.

We have solutions. We’ve seen things work well for other clients before. So I’m just going to tell you, this is the thing that you have to do. The reality is we really should be spending more time sitting on our hands. Asking questions and trying to help our clients get to the end on their own without just like serving it to them on a silver platter.

So resisting the writing reflex can be difficult, and like I said, it is something that comes up all of the time. I think it’s one of the biggest takeaways that coaches have when we’re talking about communication methods. in the health mindset coaching certification. It’s like, wow, I didn’t realize how often I was immediately trying to fix things and provide solutions without having a conversation first.

So that’s a really big one. The next one, guiding principle, next guiding principle is to understand client motivations. You cannot be the one to tell your clients why they need to change. That needs to come from them. And again, this is something that comes up all of the time because we have seen what health and fitness and nutrition and taking care of ourselves has done for our lives.

So it’s really easy for us to be like, why would you not want to do this too? And like, you signed up to work with me and don’t you just want this? Like, you should want this. But the reality is, We should be doing what we can, and you can use communication strategies to do this, to help your clients uncover their motivations rather than you telling them why they need to change.

They should be the ones being like, this is the reason why I want to. And how you ask questions and how you help them. They can get to that place of like, yes, this is why I’m here, this is why this is important to me. And then that feeds into intrinsic motivation, the real internal reasons why they want to make these changes, why they want to do these things.

And if they have that, they are so much more likely to succeed, versus like, extrinsic motivation, which would be like, I’m just trying to make my coach happy. So again, the reasons why we don’t want to determine the motivations and the reasons for changing. For our clients. We want them to do that themselves and how you communicate with them will help them arrive there Okay, I got to take a quick pause here to talk to you about something very important your coaching forms You know like your application form check in forms intake forms you my friend are probably missing out on a huge opportunity here because Most coaches see these forms as nothing but information gatherers, and I’m here to tell you they should be doing so much more for you.

Your coaching forms should be helping your clients shift their mindset and make behavior changes that actually last. And your forms really do have the power to do that. And I want to show you exactly how inside my recently updated and upgraded DIY workshop mini series, transform your forms. This DIY program is a short series of video trainings from me where you’ll learn exactly how to use the science of mindset and behavior change in your coaching forms.

So yes, we’re talking application form, intake forms, check in forms, and we’ll even dive into your sales calls and exit surveys. This is the easiest, fastest, and most affordable way to start including science backed strategies into your coaching practices. So it’s no wonder Transform Your Forms is actually my most popular DIY program.

And now with these new updates. It’s even better than ever. Over 700 coaches have already picked up this workshop series. Check out the link in the show notes to learn more. The next guiding principle is to listen with empathy, to always stay empathetic to your client’s situation and circumstances. And how many times can I say this?

Don’t make assumptions. Listen with empathy, try to better understand and try to get to the kind of the core, the why someone may be doing something, not doing something and everything in between. And I have said this on so many podcasts, but, uh, I was gonna say like a quick way to do this, but it’s really not quick, it’s just kind of like a surface level thing.

People do things for one of two reasons. To either solve a problem or eliminate discomfort. So that could be like step number one of you, Listening with empathy is thinking to yourself, like, I wonder if they’re trying to solve a problem or eliminate discomfort, like, what questions can I ask around this that’s keeping them from, you know, staying consistent or not wanting to, like, make this leap or do this thing or whatever.

So, listen with empathy. The final guiding principle is empower your clients, which kind of ties into everything that I’ve been saying and everything that I’ve talked about so far when explaining what motivational interviewing is and the spirit of it. The goal is to empower your clients and not to be The one who’s in power over your clients, and you have to remember too that as the coach, you already kind of have that like authoritative sense, and a lot of what we’re doing is providing accountability to our clients.

So they’re already coming in seeing you as the expert, you know all of the things, you’re going to help them succeed, all of that stuff. So the more we can kind of like even the playing field of like, you are just as much in charge. If not more than I am, and you really do have the power to make these changes, the better.

And effective communication strategies, motivational interviewing can help you do that. Okay. So now I feel like I’ve, I’ve talked a lot about almost like the, the, the sense and the feeling behind motivational interviewing, why it works and kind of what’s at the core of all of it. And now we can get into some of like the main skills.

And This can look so different and this is why there really is no like step by step process. There’s a lot of different ways to ask questions and have conversations that will fall into these different skills. So the main skills are open ended questions, affirmations, Reflective listening, normalizing, and asking permission.

So I’m going to walk through all of these and again, kind of give you some examples so you can get a good feel for it. But note, to have, to give you even more examples, because I don’t want to just sit here and list off like, here’s a bunch of examples of reflective listening, here’s a bunch of examples of open ended questions.

Like, that’s kind of a boring podcast, right? So that stuff is in. that cheat sheet guide, whatever we’re going to call it, um, and it is linked in the show notes so you guys can grab that. So with open ended questions, I think It’s, it’s really easy to get into like the yes, no, kind of black and white type of questions when you’re talking with clients.

Like, did you hit your protocols this week, yes or no? Or did you feel like you had lots of energy this week, yes or no? And instead ask more open ended questions. Can you tell me how your energy felt this week? Can you tell me how well you felt that you hit the protocols this week? It’s honestly hard for me to even come up with.

not open ended questions because I’m just so, like, accustomed to asking open ended over closed ended questions. But what I would encourage you to do is maybe look at your check in forms, your intake forms, things like that, application forms, and look to see where you maybe have a question that would be better suited to be open ended.

We really want to better understand our clients, empower them to, like, think deeper into what’s going on with them, and Asking open ended questions will allow them to do that, because then if it’s a, how do you feel like this week went, now they’re really having to think and reflect on their last week and think like, yeah, how did I feel?

What was that like? What was, what did I struggle with? What did go well? Versus like, do you feel like this went well? Yes or no? And it’s like, um, yeah, I guess I can say it went well, you know, but there’s so much underneath that. So open ended questions are so, so helpful for that. Affirmations is the next one.

And I don’t just mean like, I’m so proud of you. In fact, I would encourage you to stop saying I’m so proud of you all of the time. And not that I don’t want you to be proud of your clients, and obviously your clients are ecstatic when they’re like, Oh my gosh, my coach is proud of me. And we want to do that, but you want to be careful.

of the ratio for how often you’re saying, I’m so proud of you. I always knew you could do it. Or like, this is so great for me to see or all like, cause then you’re kind of just turning everything back onto yourself. And what becomes most important is how you see your client and how you see your client’s actions and what you’re making of that versus how they are.

And again, remember guiding principle. Empower your clients. We want to help them arrive at these conclusions that they are proud of themselves. That they are proud of the actions and the things that they’re doing. Because ultimately, that’s what freaking matters, is that your client is feeling good about themselves, not that you feel good about them, right?

So be cautious with how often you’re saying those things. And when we’re talking about affirmations too, I think that there, there’s a lot of different things you can say to help cultivate. Autonomy, belongingness, competence, build a growth mindset, all of this stuff that’s going to help your clients be more successful, stay with you longer, ultimately your business grow because of that and bring more clients in and have better testimonials and have more client referrals and all of that.

And that’s what we’re talking about here. Like that is the, that is the beauty of everything that I’m talking about. It’s not just like have better conversations with your clients. It’s like literally the, the downstream effect is that your business grows. Which is so cool when you really like zoom out for a second.

So anyway, I’m getting very much off topic here Affirmations can sound like you’ve put in so much hard work and dedication Over the past couple of weeks and you can see it in the results that you have brought to me this week You should be so proud of yourself and then you could you know toss in and I’m certainly proud of you type of thing but kind of always trying to Um, and it’s really important to help them recognize the progress that they’re seeing, that the strengths that they have, that they are putting in the time and the effort, and it is showing because of that.

So kind of always bringing it back to there. Reflective listening is the next skill. This one is such a good one too. If you have children, um, if you have friends, if you have a significant other, if you work with other people, literally any conversations in your life. When, especially when someone is struggling and they’re feeling ambivalent, they don’t know what decision to make, this is going to be so, so good.

And to just make sure that you are fully clear on what your client is saying to you or whoever it is that you’re having a conversation. So if they’re explaining to you what they’re struggling with, or this is so great for sales calls, consult calls, discovery calls, whatever you call them, to reflect back what you’re hearing.

So starting statements with like, What I’m hearing you say is, or just to fully clarify, this is how you’re feeling, this is what you’re saying. So we’re on the same page. You are struggling with X, Y, Z, and it would be really helpful if you had A, B, C. So you’re reflecting back what you just heard. It’s making them feel heard.

And they could also potentially come back to you and say, No, actually, that’s not what I meant. Or, No, that’s, I don’t, that’s not quite right. Or, Yeah, but there’s this other thing too. And to be honest, that’s great. If you’re wrong when you are reflecting back what that person is saying to you, that’s awesome.

Because if you just ran off and made assumptions that you knew exactly how they were feeling and what they were trying to tell you, and then you started to employ like certain strategies or build out their client plan or whatever based on that, then that would not be good because you’re basing it off of incorrect information.

So if they come back and they’re like, no, it’s actually this way, or I actually feel this way, or there’s like something else I want to add after you’ve said that, that’s so great. That’s so great. So don’t be worried that if you’re reflecting back that it’s not correct, because if it’s not, then they have a chance to correct you, and now you have even better, more accurate information.

Normalizing is the next thing. So kind of, really what’s at the core of normalizing is It’s helping your clients understand that what they’re going through is not an incredibly unique experience. And not to say that they aren’t unique and that they don’t have unique experiences, but if you’re struggling on the way to like a weight loss goal or upgrading your lifestyle to be so much healthier, that is going to happen.

That’s part of it. And I’ve talked a lot about like expectation setting on the podcast and in general just how important it is for. Um, clients to recognize that shit’s going to get hard sometimes and stuff’s going to hit the fan and you’re not going to be able to have perfect weeks all of the time and that is part of it.

And that’s some of the conversations you can have in those moments with clients is normalizing that, hey, this happens to everyone. These weeks are normal. They’re to be expected. However, big. Disclaimer, with normalizing, and this is something that I think I pull from my understanding of growth versus fixed mindset and mindset research that isn’t typically talked about when motivational interviewing is taught, but so this is my kind of like, my disclaimer that I add because we don’t want to normalize to the point where we start cultivating a fixed mindset in our clients.

So saying like, Oh yeah, all of my clients struggle with this. They may start to think. Well, if every one of your clients is struggling with this, then who am I to think that I can get through it, right? So be cautious with normalizing when you are using terminology like, yes, all of my clients struggle with this, or this is, you know, par for the course, or this is so normal that you’re having such a hard time here.

Because they may just start to think, well, then like, shit, if everybody is, then why would I be any different? And why would I be able to get through this? So always have sort of like, The, the other side of the coin in that conversation of, however, just because everyone struggles with this or it’s such a common struggle, that does not mean you can’t get through it.

And in fact, I’ve helped so many of my clients get through it and we can talk about different strategies for that. However, I just want you to know that. Where you’re at is not something that you can’t get through and it is something that a lot of people struggle with and see The other side of so just make sure that that part’s in there So they don’t feel like stuck that this is just a normal experience that they just have to be stuck with that instead It’s actually something that they can work through.

The last skill is Asking permission. Gosh, all of these are so good. Anytime I talk about motivational interviewing. I’m like, this is like If coaches would just do this stuff more, it would make such a big difference. Asking permission, and it can feel, this is one of those very unnatural, it can feel kind of weird, not a direction you would typically go, but asking permission before you provide guidance or suggestions or ideas and going to the client, and this can be so helpful just generally to get buy in, so if you say, hey, I have some suggestions and some strategies, some ideas, some things that have worked for previous clients in the past, I would love to share that with you.

If you’re up for it. And if they come back and they’re like, yes, of course, like, I want to hear it. It’s like, okay, cool. So now they’re open to listening there. They have their minds open to these strategies and to these suggestions that you have, because they said, yes, I want to hear them versus you just saying like, here’s what you don’t need to go and do.

Here’s what I think you need to do. And instead, get their buy in first, ask permission first. And there’s a lot of situations to where sometimes I have spoken to coaches who feel this way, so I’m sure you feel this way too, where you kind of feel like I’m just like throwing out solutions and ideas at this person and they’re not using any of them.

They’re not actually listening, right? Well, of course they’re not listening because you’re just like telling them what to do rather than actually having a conversation with them and making them feel heard and cared for and like understood and that you’re, this is a partnership and it’s a collaborative process.

So. Asking permission can be really helpful. It can also be really helpful if you insert it in a way where you say, like, I have some ideas for you that I’d love to share if you’re up for it. However, I would really like to hear what ideas that you have first, because you know yourself best. You know what works well for you and, like, what’s not worked well in the past.

So based on what you’re currently struggling with, What ideas do you have? Or, you know, if you were the coach, what would you do in this situation? And have those types of conversations first before you just start, like, layering on all of the different things that you think that they should do and they should try.

Of course, you have expertise. You have a skill set. You’ve worked with a lot of people, likely, in your coaching career. If you haven’t yet, like, you still Have certifications or knowledge or understanding. You’ve gone through this stuff yourself. So you do, you are a wealth of knowledge and you do have a lot of ideas that are likely going to be helpful to your clients.

That’s not to say that you don’t, but how you go about actually delivering that information is what’s most important. And I actually feel like that’s kind of like, speaking of the core of motivational interviewing, it’s so much more about how you say things than what you’re saying. And the number of coaches that are just so frustrated because they have so much knowledge and they have so many ideas and they have all these like advanced certifications in nutrition and exercise and all this stuff and they feel like they don’t even get to use it.

And they’re so frustrated because they’re like, I can’t even get my clients to like do this one thing and like. And that’s where I say it’s because you are just trying to get your clients to do something. That is not effective coaching. It’s definitely probably not involving effective communication strategies if you’re just trying to get your clients to do it.

You’re really, the goal would be that you’re helping your clients recognize why they want to do it in the first place. So, my friends, that is what I have for you on Motivational Interviewing. Like I said, I could go on and on for multiple days straight on teaching you Motivational Interviewing and how to leverage it with your clients, but this really should give you a solid start.

Obviously, if you want to dive into this more, the Health Mindset Coaching Certification is where you need to be. We talk so much about communication strategies, and we will be opening up enrollment here very soon. So make sure you’re on the wait list. When you join the wait list, you get five free lessons from me right off the bat, too.

So you got all kinds of free stuff in the show notes right now. The motivational interviewing cheat sheet, we got some more podcast episodes to listen to, five free lessons when you join the wait list. I really am trying to set you guys up for success here for free. Okay? Okay. Okay. Thank you for being here.

I appreciate you so much. Your support means the world if you would not mind. Leaving a five star review, that would also mean the world to me. I’ve gotten so much great feedback from you guys in my DMs, and I’m always like, Can you please leave a review? Because that’s what’s going to allow the show to get out in front of more people and to help more coaches.

Obviously, if any coaching friends who might benefit from this and just shoot them over the link, that would be excellent as well. But that’s all I have for you today, and I will see you next time.