[00:00:00] All right, my friends! Welcome back to not another mindset show. I am tired today. It is actually, it’s 6 51 p. m. right now and I I typically would not be sitting down to record podcasts at this time, but we keep promises to ourselves around here. And I told myself I needed to get at least two episodes recorded today.

And it was just, it was just a day today. From internet issues to having to pick up sales calls for my team because one of my staff members is on vacation to, oh my gosh, we just have so many balls in the air right now. Plates are spitting very quickly. By the time you’re listening to this, most of those plates will have hopefully landed, hopefully landed and [00:01:00] not shattered.

Um, but right now we are enrolling for the growth collective, which is my one on one mentorship opportunity. I really open up only a few spots. at the beginning of the year and then midway through the year because people join me for, join me, join us for six to twelve months at a time. This is the only way to work with me one on one and it is for people who are intermediate business owners and it’s usually health and fitness coaches that I’m working with.

A lot of these people are coming from HMCC, which is the certification that I run for coaches, and it is a way for me To talk business, which is one of my favorite things amongst many things to talk about and to actually have a, a mentor role in the business space. So we have three women in the growth collective right now.

I’m opening up five spots for the remainder of the year. Again, at this time, at the time that you’re listening to this, it will no longer be relevant, but if that’s something [00:02:00] that’s interesting to you in the future, we do have an interest list that you can add your name and email to, I’ll make sure. Make sure, make sure that that is linked in the show notes.

I’m a little bit worried. I’m a little bit worried, guys. It’s 7 p. m. and I’m trying to sit down and like, be smart and use my words. So, we’ll see how this goes. We also have, um, level 2 of the Health Mindset Coaching Certification enrolling. This month, um, by the time that you’re listening to this, you may or may not know about this if you’re an HMCC student already.

If you haven’t heard about it, you should have. And you should really consider joining us for Level 2. Level 2 is all about application. It’s really heavy on, like, hands on application. for your attention. So you’re literally taking a client through the program with you, we call it sort of like an apprenticeship because it is so hands on and we’re really talking about essentially taking a client and being able to quote unquote diagnose the behavior change situation that’s going on for them and then to have like a get it.

a [00:03:00] really strong confidence in your ability to apply the strategies from level one and from some of the advanced strategies you’re learning in level two. Excited about that. And then oh my gosh in August we have one of the best times of year enrolling for the health mindset coaching certifications. So this is the, the level one, since I was just talking about level two.

And with that, we also have The Coaching Code, which is a three part series that is entirely free. No strings attached. Come hang out with me and learn all things coaching strategy when it comes to mindset and behavior change. So that is something you can enroll for. Right now, and again, it’s totally free.

We’d love to see you there. Please come, please come hang out. Um, it is three days. It’s a Thursday, Tuesday, and then the following Thursday. The first one is on August 8th. So, please come join us. I’ll make sure that that link is for you in the show notes as well. Alright, holy housekeeping out of the way.

Do you understand now why I’m like, sitting [00:04:00] down to record this at 7pm? Got so many good things going on right now, but it is just like, there’s a lot of prep for every single one of those things. a lot of things that happen for each one of those things. And I am incredibly thankful for my team. That’s pretty much all that that comes down to.

So here we go. We are talking all or nothing thinking today, which is such a hot topic, not only for coaches, because As we know, a lot of our clients think this way, like, I have to be a hundred percent perfect, otherwise I’m not going to be able to make progress, but it’s also just for, for everyone, whether it is health and fitness oriented or otherwise, you know, there’s a lot of perfectionists out there.

I can see you. I’m actually not very much of a perfectionist, believe it or not. Um, And I do think a lot of my success is attributed to the fact that I’m willing to just, like, fucking throw it out there and see what happens and make changes later if I need to. That has definitely flown back at me in not the greatest way.[00:05:00] 

But I digress. All or nothing thinking. It is A mechanism for self sabotage, for sure. This is very much related to the last couple episodes where I’ve been talking about self sabotage, so if you haven’t listened to those yet, you’re cool with just listening to this one. But it might help you to listen to the other ones too, so definitely consider that at least.

So, with that said. Why does this all or nothing thing happen? Why, what do we do about it? Okay, so we’re going to back up, give some research foundations, as always, because we need to know the scientific foundations in order to make the best choices, ask the best questions going forward, because we actually understand the foundations of where everything is coming from.

So, In the research, when we’re talking about all or nothing thinking, you may see it called that, but not super often. What you’re more likely to see it called is dichotomous thinking. So if you wanted to jump over to Google Scholar machine and type in [00:06:00] dichotomous thinking for eating behaviors, you’ll find a lot of work.

in that area. And I’m going to read you guys the research definition for this so you know kind of like this is, this is how researchers, scientists are looking at all or nothing thinking and how they’re describing it. So it’s the tendency to think in terms of binary oppositions such as good or bad, black or white, healthy or unhealthy, and could be regarded as a form of cognitive rigidity.

I’m pausing there on purpose. I’ll tell you why. Reflecting thus a complex, less complex thinking style. Just like, butcher that. Um, this is where the 7pm is coming in. So, cognitive rigidity, less complex thinking style. This is a theme that’s going to come up a lot with a lot of topics that we’re talking about in general.

Even like, when we boil it down. When we’re talking about [00:07:00] fixed mindset, a lot of the reasons the fixed mindset exists is due to a lack of psychological flexibility. So, you’re thinking, in this case when we’re talking about all or nothing thinking, dichotomous thinking, same thing, interchangeable terms there, right?

It’s A lack of flexibility, you see it one way or the other, and there’s not a lot of gray area. And for the most part, I would argue, honestly in general, that people would be better off if they just thought more flexibility, and flexibly, and had more psychological flexibility. So, What that looks like is just like really having the ability to evaluate all the different options that could be available, all the different alternatives, all the different ways that something could play out, and really spending more time there rather than thinking like it’s either going to go this way or that way, or it’s either going to be bad or good, or food is either good or bad.

Right? So, that’s [00:08:00] going to be a common theme that comes up, and I think if you’re a coach and you’re listening to this, you probably understand and can see that a lot, where your clients don’t have a lot of cognitive flexibility, psychological flexibility, and they’re not thinking about things in a lot of different ways.

It’s just sort of like, oh, it has to go this way, or it’s going to do that, or it must be this. When the reality is there’s like so many different options that could be. Right. And I would even think for yourself, anything that you have struggled with, whether it is like to grow your business, your, your coaching, um, to learn a new skill.

Like I’m currently relearning piano, or at least I’m trying to get back into it. That’s been tough for me. Um, I’ve been spending a lot of time learning Spanish and I’m like, this is where my brain wants to go. I want to tell you about my Spanish lessons guys, but that’s like not the point of this episode.

Um, but with those things, it’s learning a new skill and it can sometimes feel like this is like as good as it’s going to get. Or if I don’t practice more than twice per week, what’s the point [00:09:00] or whatever. Right. Um, but if we can think more flexibly about it and see, evaluate all the different alternative paths here, it’s going to do a lot of good.

So, why do we do this? Why do we think in this inflexible way, black, white, good, bad, healthy, unhealthy, the end? There’s a reason. There’s always a reason. Humans are complex but quite simple at the end of the day. So, why do we think in this, why do we tend to fall in this all or nothing thinking type of trap?

Big part of it is that we like to simplify and categorize things. We like to put things into boxes, because that helps us feel like they make more sense. Even though it doesn’t logically make more sense, it just feels like, safer. It feels like, okay, this makes more sense if I can categorize it. We do that, I mean, like, that’s where stereotypes are born, right?

We like simplicity. We like clarity. [00:10:00] Rules. Guidelines. All of these things, because ultimately what it’s doing for us is freeing up mental resources, right? If we can put you in a category, if we can symbolize things, symbolize. I’m literally making up words, guys. Simplify things. Maybe I just need to slow down.

I need to talk. Slower at 7 p. m. Rules, guidelines, we like these things because it requires less effort from us, less mental resources are required. Because we can just like follow something, we can just see something in a category. It’s also a lot easier to let yourself off the hook if you have this all or nothing style of thinking.

Because if you don’t end up doing it the one way or maybe one of two ways that you think are allowable, it’s not allowable. Then you’re off the hook. You just don’t, you can’t do it. It’s not possible for you. It’s not going to happen. Rather than having a lot of different ways to get something done. [00:11:00] You can just let yourself off the hook, right?

We can also really see where the diet industry loves this shit. They capitalize on this stuff. In fact, if all or nothing thinking and this desire for categorizing things and having rules and guidelines and making everything really simple, even though it can be more complex, If that didn’t exist in the human brain, the fad diet industry specifically would have a very hard time surviving.

They are looking for you to want to categorize things, put things in boxes. Oh my god, is that not what Beachbody literally does? That’s a thing, right? That you have, like, containers. I don’t know enough about any of these diets, but I do think that Beachbody’s the container thing. Like, put your food into these containers and, like, it’s as easy as that, right?

Until you go out to dinner anywhere or travel. Can you imagine? I’m not gonna, like, just, you know, sit here and shit on Beachbody, but just like [00:12:00] going to your daughter’s wedding and pulling out your containers to fit in the wedding dinner. And do people do that? I may be just totally making all of this up, so maybe just don’t listen to me here.

But anyway, the diet industry knows, the diet industry knows you like rules and guidelines and want to simplify things and make it as easy as possible and make it less stressful. effortful for your brain and on your mental resources. So they capitalize on this stuff, right? So what we know from the research when it comes to all or nothing thinking, I’ve got some big bullet points here and what we see is related to this type of dichotomous thinking, all or nothing thinking.

Number one, it relates to more restrictive eating and restraint. Which is kind of interesting, right? Because I would almost think that restrictive eating would lead to all or nothing thinking, which it does. Spoiler alert, we’re going to talk about that in a little bit. [00:13:00] But also, it goes the other way, too.

So if you have a more all or nothing thinking, way of thinking, when it comes to exercise and nutrition, can lead to you being more restrictive with your approaches. It also leads to counter consumption. regulatory responses. So this could be something like punishment cardio, right? I had too much dessert last night, I drank too much, so I need to get on the Stairmaster for an hour tomorrow morning.

It can lead to minor off track situations, turning into overeating, or just total abandonment of the diet. Again, these are, these are research results, so these are findings that I noted down related to all or nothing thinking. There’s also a relation to higher BMI. So people who tend to have all or nothing thinking type of ways of thinking are more likely to have a higher BMI.

And obviously, you know, we don’t need to get into it here, but BMI [00:14:00] is, is not the greatest indicator of what we’re looking for. As far as like health, body composition, um, what’s like the, the stan the go to is The Rock. Dwayne the Rock Johnson has, like, an obese, like, morbidly obese BMI, but, like, obviously he’s not.

Um, but in general, like, general population, I think it can still.

It’s also, All or Nothing Thinking is also one of the best predictors of weight regain. Interesting. Okay, so stuff that we, uh, we kind of probably already know at face value, and if you’re a coach and you’re listening to this, you’re like, yep, Yep, yep, that all makes a lot of sense to me that if people think in these terms of like, it has to be this way or, or nothing, like that makes sense why it would lead to weight regain, higher BMI, off track situations leading to, leading to overeating, counter regulatory responses like punishment cardio, more restrictive eating, restraint.[00:15:00] 

So some of this other research, and I just kind of mentioned that we were going to talk about this, shows that dichotomous thinking is actually a mediator. And again, when I say dichotomous thinking, I’m sorry you guys, I’m interchanging this a lot. All or nothing thinking and dichotomous thinking are the same thing.

But dichotomous thinking is what, um, The term that they use in the research more often that you’re going to see. So they see, researchers see, dichotomous thinking as a mediator. I do believe I described what a mediator is in a previous episode, but I definitely am going to explain it again because I don’t expect you guys to be super familiar with research terms.

Maybe we should do that, like a research vocabulary episode. All of you immediately are rolling your eyes as you’re listening to this, like, please, God, no. Um, okay. A mediator, a mediator is essentially a variable that sits in between two other variables in the relationship. So when I’m [00:16:00] saying something like, your mindset relates to how often you exercise, there’s probably some variables in between that, like, your mindset is interacting with those middle variables and then those middle variables are leading to the exercise outcomes.

Um, so in this case, the middle variable, the, the mediator is dichotomous thinking. Um, also Isaiah, when you’re listening to this, those of you who don’t know who Isaiah is, which I don’t expect any of you to, cause I don’t think I’ve mentioned him by name yet in these videos in the podcast, he is my amazing.

YouTube video editor, Isaiah, let’s throw the, the graphic over the video here so people who are watching this on YouTube, which P. S. if you’re listening to this and you would like to watch, you can do that on YouTube. Um, let’s show the graphic of the, the chart essentially showing this relationship too because I’m, I’m doing my best with my hands but I feel like it’d be better if we could actually like throw it up here somewhere.

So we have restrictive eating [00:17:00] leads to More all or nothing thinking, dichotomous thinking, which therefore leads to greater weight regain or just, you know, giving up, starting over, falling off, etc. So what this means and like why this is actually important is because we know from the literature, we’ve seen a lot of these studies, that restrictive eating, like, Really restrictive diets lead to not so great results long term.

Like they can be helpful in the short term, but not so much in the long term. And what this finding is showing us is the reason that’s the case. The reason, one of the reasons, that restrictive eating leads to weight regain down the line is because restrictive eating leads to more all or nothing thinking.

So really, kind of like the culprit here is the all or nothing thinking, but your restrictive eating is what’s causing the all or nothing thinking. Capisce? Did we follow that? Um, so this is [00:18:00] important just because we know restrictive diets aren’t that great. And then we look at all these like fad diets that are so restrictive.

And it’s like, well, why doesn’t that work? You know, if human brains like guidelines and rules and regulations and like making things less complex and using less resources, then why is this? It’s not working. And because this all or nothing thinking type of way of thinking is not super conducive to weight loss maintenance, in fact, it’s, it’s literally doing the opposite for you.

So some other things that we know too, and we see in the research is that all or nothing thinking leads to the what the hell effect. This is my favorite, speaking of research terms, this is my favorite research term. It’s literally what they use. in these empirical papers. So when you read one of these scientific articles, they’re using the term, what the hell effect.

And we all know what that is, right? It’s when you get to this point of like, okay, I have gone over my macros for the day by a couple hundred calories because I decided to [00:19:00] have that extra drink or extra few bites of dessert or what have you. So what the hell, I might as well have another drink or I might as well finish the dessert.

So you get into this place, but. Having an all or nothing perspective of things, this dichotomous way of thinking, can lead to that what the hell effect cycle. And it really is a cycle, and what’s tough is that when we’re recovering from negative feelings because of that cycle, like you’re feeling ashamed, you’re feeling guilty that you went over your macros and then you overdid it even further from that, a lot of times, We just feed ourselves back into that cycle.

We see clients do this a lot, too. Where, okay, I overate, now I feel bad about overeating. And then the next day is like, well, I, I feel bad that I overate. I feel guilty. So then I’m just like, I’m not going to go to the gym today. Because why does it matter? Why does anything matter? I’m not doing this correctly.

And it just like is this cycle where you essentially are trying to fix your bad feelings by doing the same thing that made you feel bad in the first place. Horrible cycle. [00:20:00] Horrible cycle. And Isaiah, we can throw up, uh, that cycle onto the video, too, so people can see. I have, I have a graphic that kind of, like, displays that.

And again, this is all based in research. I think, this is just coming from the top of my head, but I’m pretty sure Herman and Polvey are some of the main researchers who kind of spearheaded a lot of the stuff in the, the what the hell effect. So, if you want to look into that any further. So, coaches?

people who work with other people? Something I want you to think about. And for those of you who have ever worked with me before, honestly, maybe even just listening to the podcast so far, you would pick up on this. I love a really good question. It’s funny because I, I’m such a question asker, just even in my day to day life, like, I am a researcher through and through, guys.

And it doesn’t mean that I’m like constantly like in research mode, but I honestly, I even feel like, and this is where we get to add some personal pizzazz. Even like on dates, for those of you who maybe don’t know, you didn’t listen to the episodes where I’ve said this before, I’m currently [00:21:00] single. Um, it’s funny because I know that these episodes are being batched.

quite far in advance. I’m like, well, maybe I won’t be by the time this gets launched, but the chances are pretty high I still will be. Um, but I, I ask a lot of questions and some of the guys that I’ve seen for like more than a couple of dates are like, like ask me questions, like jokingly and like being, um, Like, lovingly about it.

But they’re like, does, does it ever shut off? And I was like, what do you mean? Does it ever shut off? Like those, like, the way that your brain is working, like, I can literally see your brain working, like, behind your eyes when you ask these questions. And then I feel a little bit self conscious because I’m like, I promise I’m not trying to, like, grill you or anything.

And that’s probably even you guys listening to this are probably like, dude, Casey, lay the, lay off. Like, leave these guys alone. But it really is, they’re not super pointed questions or anything like that, but they are intentional questions. And. I really actually, my preference is when the guys pick up on it and they’re like, I can see like how you’re [00:22:00] piecing this all together and like, it’s a way for you to learn more about me and yada, yada, yada.

Um, but anyway, I digress. Some questions that I have for you, my friends related to all of this, especially those of you who are business owners, coaches, and you’re working with clients is to think more about how you can stop all or nothing thinking with your clients. And, or, in your marketing, because if we know that this way of being from an all or nothing perspective is so detrimental in so many ways, like, we really need to start paying attention to how we might be contributing to it.

And how we can be maybe better at not sending super polarizing messages, because I know that’s the stuff that does so well on social media, you have to be polarizing, and you have to niche down, and you have to pick a certain side, and like, dig your heels in. That’s. What could very well be contributing to so many people being stuck in this all or nothing way of thinking, like, Oh, today I heard that keto is the best approach to lose fat because you’re, [00:23:00] you’re eating fat to lose fat, right?

Like, that makes sense. Oh, jeez. Um, I wish those of you who are listening to this could, like, I mean, you can probably hear my facial expressions, but at YouTube video. Um. Or, you know, one day I hear keto is the best and then the next day I hear that, like, carbs are your best source of fuel and, like, anyone who tells you that to have keto is wrong and stupid and has no morals.

And then people get so confused because they’re like, one day I hear this, the next day I hear that, but those are all feeding to an all or nothing perspective regardless, like, it’s this way, this is the best way, or else in those messages, right? So I’m assuming if you’re listening to this podcast, you’re not one of those people, but just be.

cautious with your messages because they really do make a difference. And then everyone gets frustrated when you have clients who are all or nothing thinkers, but that’s the type of messages you’re kind of putting out there. So just be cautious. Um, [00:24:00] and also thinking about just options for helping clients adopt less of a black and white, uh, More gray area style of thinking, which is like the, the way of saying how do we help people be more cognitively or like psychologically flexible versus cognitively or psychologically rigid?

How do we add more complexity without? Potentially making it more confusing, right? Because we don’t want to do that either. So we’re going to talk about some strategies in general for doing so, obviously, but think about what that means for you and your coaching practices. Not me giving you like a deliberate pause to think because you can’t hit, actually hit pause when you’re listening, right?

Um, okay, so how do we begin tackling all or nothing thinking? First of all, if you have not listened to the previous episode, [00:25:00] I told you you don’t have to, but The previous episode on diagnosing self-sabotage through my, here, I have to say it again. And it’s like annoying that I couldn’t think of a better acronym ’cause I thought it’d be cute.

But now I hate that I have to say the word shit all of the time. ’cause it’s the S-S-H-I-T. It’s like an acronym, framework, whatever for, for diagnosing self sabotage. Anyway, go listen to that. I think that’s a good place to start in general. But we’re also going to walk through a few steps from a like mindset and belief perspective.

So the first things we want to do is really get a better understanding of where You this person that you’re working with, or if this is for you, you can do this with yourself too. What do those all or nothing beliefs really sound like? You want to get really specific. Like what are those exact statements?

worried about a client who has this all or nothing way of thinking, she has a tendency for it. What are the exact statements that she’s saying to [00:26:00] you in her check ins, via WhatsApp, however you communicate with your clients? What are the exact things that she’s saying? So it’s really easy for us to be like, oh yeah, she struggles with that, or most of my clients are totally are all or nothing thinkers.

But like, what are they actually saying? Like, can you tell me what those phrases are? Um, We don’t want to make assumptions that we know what those beliefs are and where they’re coming from and what those, what they really are, so really take some time to, like, figure out what that is. And then from there, we can think more about the where and the when.

Where and when are those beliefs actually showing up? Because it’s probably not all of the time, and there probably are some unique triggers, some certain people, some certain situations that really make those beliefs shine in the worst way, right? So, what is that? And this could be just a conversation that you have with your client, too.

Like, do you have any idea of, like, certain people, situations, triggers of those beliefs? Or is it something that you feel like is kind of, like, steadfast and is there all of the time? And [00:27:00] then, third, Why the heck do these beliefs exist in the first place? Was it their parents? Is it this frickin diet industry we were just talking about?

Social norms? Negative core beliefs that they maybe have about themselves? All of these things are also related to those those pieces, the shit method from diagnosing self sabotage. So that’s all kind of related to this as well. So we can better understand like why the beliefs exist and we can diagnose that self sabotage.

All or nothing thinking is a form of self sabotage. That’s why we’re here. That’s why we’re talking about this, right? But what is contributing to that? Like what makes those beliefs exist? Because usually we can trace it back to, again, something going on as far as social norms, beliefs about themselves, their parents.

The diet industry, etc. So that’s like a, kind of like a three step process that you can start with. In addition to that, the diagnosis that I discussed in the other episode. So another thing though, which [00:28:00] I’m sure all of you saw this coming, if you didn’t. You don’t know me at all. That can greatly help with all or nothing thinking is cultivating a growth mindset.

Because at the end of the day, all or nothing thinking is a fixed mindset. Believing something needs to be 100 percent or it’s not worth doing, that’s a fixed mindset. Thinking that the effective workouts are the ones that are leaving you crawling out of the gym, and it has to be that way or else, fixed mindset.

Actually, when I first got into My health and fitness journey. I wore, like, the polar heart rate monitors that had, like, the watch, but then also, like, a literal strap around my chest. Like, we had these in gym class when I was growing up, and I apparently took that with me. And would not think that a workout was effective unless the polar heart rate monitor was saying that I burned 600 calories.

Which we all know, especially from, like, a [00:29:00] strength training perspective, that, like, The number of calories that you burn in the session, like, are not super relevant because a lot of what’s happening is in the quote unquote, like, after effects of strength training, whereas, like, cardio is a little bit more, like, obviously in the moment, um, you’re not having to, like, repair and rebuild your muscle tissue, and that is, like, requiring energy long after the strength training session is already over, but anyway, I digress, I was definitely in an all or nothing perspective, and I can still, like, I remember that where I was standing in the gym, um, And I was like sending a message to one of my new coaches and being like, Yo, I just finished this upper body workout and it’s only telling me I burned 200 calories.

And she was like, why are you even looking at that? Like, that doesn’t matter. And I was like, mind blown. That I, it was like such a shift in like my perspective. I’m sure so many of you have had those instances where like, in the moment when you had like a light bulb moment or when things really started to shift for you like you know where you were standing what you were looking at potentially even what you were wearing [00:30:00] that was me in that moment believing like Only certain foods help with fat loss and they’re like good or bad foods, like, obviously, all or nothing thinking, but that’s also very strong fixed mindset.

Or even just like, I will only be good enough when X, Y, Z happens. That is also a very strong fixed mindset, but, I think we can all argue that that is also an all or nothing way of thinking. So all or nothing thinking really is just often a fixed mindset in disguise. So if that’s the case, what is the best way to work on our all or nothing thinking, work on it with our clients?

the cure is a growth mindset. So focusing on mindset, doing mindset work is going to be really important here. Adjusting your macros, changing your training split is probably not going to do a whole ton for all or nothing thinking, for dichotomous thinking, for that type of self sabotage. Instead, we [00:31:00] really need to be paying attention to mindset.

So first and foremost, obviously, educating just on this topic in some way. Like, we don’t want to, please don’t do this. Please don’t do this. We don’t want to just go to our clients and say, well, you have a fixed mindset and that’s where we need to start, right? Because a lot of times, all the time, people with fixed mindsets are going to get pretty defensive.

And if you tell them that they have a fixed mindset, like that’s not going to feel good to them. And they’re probably not going to be willing to do the mindset work if you’re just like calling them out, right? Obviously there is To some degree can be ways of quote unquote calling them out in a more compassionate manner where they actually will respond well so Just like with anything like starting to pay attention to where that fixed mindset shows up Identifying when they are using words like always or never or I’m just not the type of person for this and see how that Coincides with their all or nothing thinking patterns and the more you can You [00:32:00] Encourage a growth mindset.

The harder it’s going to be for your clients to think in an all or nothing way. Point blank period. So if we are working on mindset, we are inherently going to be helping with all or nothing thinking and therefore. Self sabotaging behaviors. Bing, bang, boom. And that is why everything I do exists. So, one thing to really remember here is that as humans, it’s totally normal to be thinking this way.

Again, our brains are wired to want to conserve energy, conserve resources, so it’s easier to think in less complex ways. and your clients are not broken for doing this. And I would really encourage you to think back like I just did with my story of the 600 calories of the polar heart rate monitor and how I was stuck in a certain way of thinking until like someone presented things to me differently.

And like, now that gets to be our job as coaches. And it’s, it’s so cool what we can do for other people and help them break that [00:33:00] cycle. Right. That, um, This way of thinking is normal, but that doesn’t mean it can’t change. That is the message. And I know we talked about compensatory messaging in previous episodes, and it’s this idea that we want people to feel like, Oh, I can change, but I also don’t want to feel guilty for where I’m at, and things like that.

Like, all of that comes into play here. So, help your clients recognize slip ups as part of the process. And not that they necessarily need to label those slip ups as good or bad or whatever, right, wrong. There’s no reason to feel guilty or ashamed, like it’s all kind of just part of the process. Obviously, easier said than done, I know, but that’s the All or Nothing thinking comes into play all of the time.

It’s not just like, I think this food is good and this food is bad. It can really come down to like, I am bad, or I am good, or I did good this week, or I did bad this week. And really helping them to better see how there’s [00:34:00] more complex ways of thinking. That’s what you should be doing in your check ins, all of the time.

And helping encourage, how I said at the beginning, that we’re gonna see this constant theme of, more psychological flexibility and thinking more flexibly, you should be really trying to encourage your clients to do that inside your coaching practices. And the more they’re able to do that, the better they’re going to be able to see different options and solutions and bring those to you rather than you having to bring it to them and then them not actually following it.

Because nobody actually wants to do the things that they’re told. They would rather Come up with the solutions themselves as much as they say just tell me what to do. That’s not necessarily the case. Okay. All right. So where we’re at now. Little bit of rapid fire evidence based methods for combating all or nothing thinking.

We just talked about it kind of in a, in a lot of different ways in a roundabout way of like how you should be focusing on this, what you should be doing. But I want to give you guys some really hard, tangible go apply this ASAP type of stuff. So the first thing we’re going [00:35:00] to talk about is It’s a method that’s kind of born out of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT.

So it’s like some CBT questioning. If you have gone through the Health Mindset Coaching Certification, you are likely very fond of this questioning system. It is one of the ones that we see most often cited in the final assessment for the Health Mindset Coaching Certification. So I know it is a favorite amongst our students.

Um, so when we are using this. We’re essentially going to with a client or you can use this with yourself. In fact, I use it with myself all of the time. Um, I mindset work myself all of the time. The first thing I want to ask, like, if we’re having this thought of like, nothing ever works for me, I, I can’t lose the weight and keep it off.

Like it, it’s just not something that’s capable for me. Maybe you’re hearing that from a client. That’s something that you’re telling yourself. What is the evidence for this belief? Question number one. There is some evidence, there’s a reason you’re thinking this way, otherwise it wouldn’t exist in the first place.[00:36:00] 

So we have to get really clear on like where is this coming from, where is this thought, this belief, like why does it exist? I think it’s really easy for us and for us as coaches working with clients to just be like no, that’s not true, like you don’t know what you’re talking about, like we’re, like we don’t need to worry about that, like that’s obviously not the reality.

I There is some truth to it, otherwise you wouldn’t be thinking it. Like, so what’s the evidence for this belief? And if you’re thinking like, nothing ever works for me, I can never lose weight and keep it off, the evidence that you have is that you’ve probably tried in the past and it didn’t work. And that’s valid.

Like, that’s really valid. We can’t just brush over that. That is something that we need to keep in mind going forward as we continue to work together. So from there, after you’ve gathered the evidence for the belief, What is the evidence against that belief? And in this case, it might be like, okay, what I’ve tried in the past certainly did not work very well.

But what I’m doing now is different. I’m working with a coach now. We’re trying something totally different. I’ve never tracked macros like this before. I’ve [00:37:00] never had a coach who, like, knew anything about the science of mindset and behavior change. Like, this is an entirely different situation. So we can’t really compare now to the previous situations.

Because, like, Yeah, honey, I’m not surprised that Keto and Beachbody didn’t work for you, right? So what is the evidence against it? Like, this is a different time. I’m a different person now. I’ve got different resources and tools at my disposal. Now taking the evidence for and the evidence against, what is the more accurate depiction of what the heck is going on here?

And in this case, with this example, it might be, okay, so what I’ve tried in the past, did not work super well. And that makes me feel a lot like what I’m going to continue to try is not going to work well. And that is a valid way of feeling based on that evidence. However, what I’m trying now is very different.

And I do feel like I’ve learned a lot over the years in this trial and error process. So even though I maybe haven’t found something that works well for me, I know what doesn’t work well for me and I’ve learned what doesn’t and what does. [00:38:00] And now I feel a little bit more confident going forward given the current circumstances.

more accurate depiction than I’m just not capable, right? And then what does that mean for your health and fitness behavior? So this person who maybe was working through it would say, what this means is what I’m trying now, as long as it’s different than what I’ve done in the past, still has a chance. of helping me be successful.

And then lastly, can tack this one on the end. What will you change? So what are you going to change? Now that we just went through this entire process, all of these questions made you think a little bit, what are you going to change? And I don’t know this, I’m just like pretending to be this person, right?

This person might say, I am going to change my outlook because I know every day, if I just continue to think this isn’t going to work for me, then like it probably won’t. And there’ll be a self fulfilling prophecy. Um, but yeah, So yeah, that’s what that can look like. You can also continue to talk to that client a little bit more about like what that actually feels like now, like [00:39:00] going through this process.

How do you feel differently? And whenever I’ve done this with clients in the past, they always say, I feel more hopeful, I feel. Like, I have a better grasp on reality and I have a better idea, like, understanding of what’s actually going on rather than just kind of like panic mode or being just so worried about what the future has to hold and I feel a little bit more confident of the direction that we’re going.

So, all really good things, right? So that was just one. That was just one exercise, one thing you can do with clients and I still have more for you, my friends. So the next one is a scaling exercise. So, the goal with this scaling exercise is to really start to help people start thinking more flexibly, like we were talking about, and better determine that middle or gray area rather than like these two poles, two ends of the spectrum.

So what this can look like is asking them on a scale of one to ten, if good food is on. a [00:40:00] 1, and then bad food is on the 10, and we’re kind of stuck in this place of like, labeling foods good and bad, and like, that’s what you’re helping this client work through. And Isaiah, let’s throw that scale up on the video for those that are watching, just to have that visual too.

Then we can ask them, if this is the case, you know, 1 is good food, 10 is bad food, probably would go the other way, right? Whatever. Um, it doesn’t matter for this example anyway. Asking them, okay, well, if that’s the case, we have these two opposite sides of the spectrum, then what would fall into a 4, if like good foods are vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats, bad foods are cupcakes, pizza?

Ice cream. Why is this so hard for me to think of the word ice cream? Um, Then if that’s the case, then what foods fall on four or five, six, And that can be really hard for someone to answer if they’re stuck in [00:41:00] this all or nothing perspective But it really challenges their way of thinking and encourages them to think Think more flexibly.

So then I don’t know, what would maybe someone try to be like, I don’t know, maybe oatmeal goes in the middle. ’cause I’ve been hearing all this bad stuff about oatmeal or fruit. ’cause apparently fruit’s also bad for you. Especially bananas. Oh my God. The things that bananas can do to you, from what I’ve seen on social media, , God.

Anyway, so I don’t know, they, they will probably really struggle with this, right? So having them think about that. The same with like failure and success or, um, wrong versus right, like what ends up falling in the middle Then. Because there’s always a gray area. There’s always stuff that falls in the middle.

There’s always nuance. So that can be a really, really good exercise for your clients or yourself to try. And the last thing I have for you Last couple things is just like surrounding the idea of reframing and rationalizing in general because that’s kind of what we need to end up doing if we’re in this, like, all or nothing thinking trap.

So the first thing to [00:42:00] do would be to help your clients Um, and I think it’s really important that we just try to see how all or nothing thinking isn’t rational by not telling them directly that it’s not. Because again, that’s not what, we are never, as coaches, trying to just directly tell people things.

That is the biggest thing when it comes to like, real mindset coaching. Real in quotes here, and if we’re even going to call it mindset coaching, because I don’t love the term, but I know it’s the term that everybody uses, so it’s the term that I have to use. It’s never direct. It’s always in between the lines.

It’s through the questions that you ask. It’s how you present information. It’s not necessarily a direct, like, this is how you need to think differently. If ever. So anyway, I digress. In this case, what we can do is take away the context. So an example would be, eating cupcakes is bad because cupcakes are bad foods, right?

But taking away the context of that or putting it in different contexts and saying something like, well, [00:43:00] are cupcakes just as bad when it’s your birthday? Or are they just as bad when your friend knew that you were really upset about something and she brought over your favorite flavor made into cupcake form?

Like, you’re a big Red Velvet fan and she made you Red Velvet cupcakes. Are they still really bad then? So if you add different context to it, then suddenly, oh, maybe they’re not so bad. But that flies in the face of an all or nothing perspective where cupcakes are always bad. So having some conversation around that can be really, really helpful.

And that’s where you can create those type of lightbulb moments and ways of thinking differently for your clients. And those are the things that stick, just like that 600 calories doesn’t even matter situation for me with the heart rate monitor. Okay, the other thing is to help clients feel in control of their decisions, their choices, and their actions.

And the meaning that’s assigned to things just so important and we’ve talked about autonomy a lot on this show already and I’m not [00:44:00] going to stop anytime soon because it is a cycle basic psychological need when it comes to like staying motivated and sticking to things so autonomy so important. So.

Asking more questions is really what I’m getting at here and asking clients, you know, why does it have to be good or bad or right or wrong? Why can’t it just be a choice? And encouraging them to make conscious choices and decisions and feeling good about what they’re doing and that they know that they’re making a choice in the moment to eat the cupcake.

It doesn’t, the cupcake’s not good or bad. You’re just making a choice to have the cupcake or not have the cupcake. And hopefully that choice is based on just like how you want to feel after and nothing else, right? And really trying to seek neutrality with everything. Like that’s really so much of health and fitness stuff.

The negative stuff could be combated with coming from a place of neutrality and also thinking more flexibly. Like so much of it [00:45:00] boils down. To that. So how do we create a place of neutrality and not assigning bad or negative meaning to things and instead just being like, it’s just a choice. I’m just deciding to do this or not do this.

The end. Um, I know again, easier said than done, but that is the beauty of what you can do. As a health and fitness coach and how you can help your clients. And this is a lot of what we talk about inside the health mindset coaching certification. And I’m very excited because we open enrollment for a, our fall cohorts in August, August 19th.

I am like, shoot, is that correct? I really do think that’s correct. I think, I think it is the 19th, but prior to that. Again, we have the coaching code, and this is so much fun for me because it is my opportunity to connect with so many of you for free 99, zero dollars, zero cost, you can just show up and hang out with me.

We usually run these calls for like an hour to 90 minutes. And it starts on August 8th and again, this is like your [00:46:00] opportunity to kind of get your feet wet with some of the behavior change mindset practices that we’re talking about in the podcast that you see me talk about all the time on, on, on the Instagrams.

Just what I’m so, so, so freaking passionate about. So, and. You get to learn from me for free. You get to hang out for free. So come, please join us. We’re going to have some fabulous prizes as well for people who are submitting assignments. So I’m holding you to it. This isn’t just like a show up and leave.

I have assignments for you to go and like really think how you’re going to apply this stuff. And when you do those assignments, again, You get to potentially win some prizes. So we’re having fun with it too. That is all happening again, August 8th. I will leave the link for you below in the show notes. Um, but that is all I have for you, my friends.

Thank you so much. So, so, so, so much for being here. Um, at this point in time, I was just told today by my, um, team members that we hit 500 downloads in our first week. By the time that you’re listening to this, it will already have been launched for Like two [00:47:00] and a half months, which is crazy. I’m like time traveling right now.

Um, but it’s been so fun to connect with you guys already through the podcast and the reviews again. Um, you’ll hear this during the outro if you keep listening after this. But if you do submit a review, please don’t forget to click the form link that we have listed in this show notes so that you can upload.

Your review there and get have a chance to win one of my workshops. We’re doing that every single month So please leave a review. It means so much to me and in general. I love hearing your feedback So, please don’t hesitate to reach out Can you tell that I really like sitting here and talking to you because I just like extend This for far longer than it needs to be.

Oh my god. Okay. It’s also now what yeah 740 your girl has to eat dinner She’s got a fantasy novel. She needs to get into and then get to bed. I love you Thank you so much, and I’ll see you next [00:48:00] time